Monday, September 25, 2006

Got The Day Off :(

Life is already complicated enough around here, so what happens when you find yourself, waking up at 2:00 a.m. with pain running, from your left side of your back to your left arm. Some how between Sat, and Sun. I must have either slept wrong or moved the wrong way. I've missed a day of work due to 2 ribs rubbing against one another. Talk about painfull I slept with the heating pad on, now I'm sitting up with a ice pack between my shoulder blade and upper back. It was pretty painful, short on breath and barley move. I stretched it out some before I left the house, that didn't work. So I put a call into my Chiropractor, they got me this morning he popped them back into place told me to stay as still as possible. Now wait a minute, your telling me to take it easy!?!

For those who know me well enough that's, impossible I mean I could if I knew how. So I called CH after I took care of taking a note to work, because of the swelling that is on that part of my back. I can't even get a massage because I'm in so much pain. My co-worker looked at me and said, well looks like you will be down for a day or two. Only until Wednesday morning, I'll be back that evening. My other co-worker said how can you push two ribs out of place? Easy sleep wrong, move the wrong way, Even sneezing can push them out of place. It's the two on the back that are near the shoulder blades. And they hurt so bad! It was really hard for me to breath even taking a deep breath in was painful enough. So my Chiropractor pushed them back where they belong, so here I am with a ice pack and being board. Kept me awake for a while last night, getting into the shower this morning I ended up yelling because of the pain. I felt bad because CH was sleeping, and I woke him up because of the pain that I was in.

I've already took a long nap already today, so now I'm just sitting here. Not doing much, of course I've thought of all the evil things that I could be doing like the laundry, the dishes from last nights birthday, folding the clothes that have need to be put away. Then being the angel that I'm suppose to be. I took the docs advice and took it easy today. There is always tomorrow, and since tomorrow is my regular day off. Hopefully the swelling will be down enough to get one bedroom done and the laundry folded.

Hopefully I can post a pic of J's birthday cake, that I got him for his birthday. I didn't let him see it until we put the candles on it. And no I didn't make it, it was bought out of town. Even my in-laws liked my choice of cake, and if one more freaking hunting catalog comes through the mail I'm going to scream! I've had #6 come in and the xams catalog will be the last to be shipped unless CH gets another hard cover catalog from Cabela's, again. I'm going now, yes I'm hoping for a quick recovery. Here's to a good week.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

What A Week!

As many of you have read CH's post, from earlier this week, it just got more interesting to say the least. After putting C back on the his regular meds that was second perscribed by his first counsler. We have seen a big improvement, that has been a big relief to everyone around us. We still haven't told C about the new school yet, of course those that knows, has let it slip of the tongue. One being my ex-co-worker from the store that I use to work at. She didn't know that we hadn't said any thing yet. She couldn't believe what the teacher had said, for those that have read me for a while have known the stuff that I've been through and knowing that I've been pulled in every direction. It's not easy to be Mom, Teacher, Friend, C.M.T, Sister and Wife. There hasn't been a moment this week where I have not shed a tear. I've had C on my lap and cried with him carried him, and craddled him even though he is very heavy. I know that is not good for my back, it's the best that I can do in this tough situation. C's resourse teacher stopped by the house on Tuesday night, I had explained to K on Monday after our bible studdy that C doesn't want to return back to school, so on Tuesday she stopped by after another mishap at school.

I understand that we have had a difficult time with C, here is the out come on Tuesday at school. C got out of hand sometime Tuesday morning, he ended up kicking his aid, which ended with teacher losing his temper yelled C and said he was going to a school for bad boys. C came home from school madder than hell. I asked what happen as heartfelt as I could he told me what the teacher had said. He looked at me and started crying because, we both know how upsetting this has been. It's one thing to lose control, but to tell a child that has so much going against him, it's not easy we've been down this road for the last two years, and no one has given us a complete answer as to what the hell is going on with our son. To make matters worse I had a teacher call me to apologized for losing his temper with C. It took a resourse teacher to come to my house. K is plan B, take C if and when he cannot handle a regular classroom setting. She saw some of the things that C does, one is hitting himself for no appearent reason. She took one look at both of us and said what just happened? We told her we don't know, it's one of his mind things that we cannot figure out.

Sure he gets excited when someone comes to visit, but Tuesday night was very much a blessing. We showed K the school we are looking into which is 25 miles away from here in a very small farming town. They have the tools that are needed from Family counsling and is in a restirctive invorment. Here's where it gets a little complicated since C, is doing so well in K's classroom, and the school that we live next to has already said we don't want him here. And if by some chance that he gets kicked out of school where are we to go next? We are praying this doesn't happen. All I've ever wanted was for our boys to strive, in their learning, no matter how long it takes them to get something right. I praise them, just to let them know that they are doing a good job. Of course C thinks he can go to the store, and buy a toy for doing such a good job. Not exactly what I want to do every night after the home work is done. As soon as I get a little extra cash, I'll be making a trip to the store without C, so I can pick up a few prizes just to keep in my closet in the bedroom so he doen't know that I have it. While out shopping over the weekend I picked up a few toys that caught is interest, which K took home with her, and uses them in the classroom, each morning he goes in and has twenty minutes of free play. C likes this better than going on the playground with the other kids. It's way too noisy for him. He can not handle too much noise, he starts covering his ears.

Usually this is my time to read and just to mediate on things, pray that our boys are doing fine in school. And since it's still been nice outside, and my truck needed a good cleanup. I've got time, C is half day of kinder. looked at the clock realized I had enough time to wash and clean the windows. Just about the time I was getting to the rims and wheels, my phone starts ringing, and I pick it up. It's the middle school where J attends. The office is calling me to pick up J from school. for a moment I thought it was about C then it clicked it's J's school. Mind you I've had a bad week dealing with teachers that don't understand what it's like to have a child that can't control his actions, to having a teacher that has gone out of her way to help in every which way she can. And now I've got another school on the line, she informs J had tripped and fell, landed on his left wrist. She had asked if I was able to pick J up. Thank goodness I had just finished getting all the soap and was in the middle of drying my truck when she called. I call CH told him what had happened, he came with us. By the time we left the minor injory clinic, I called my work told them my situation they gave me the night off. And it's a good thing they did, between a busy afternoon in the injoury clinic and getting x-rays done J is now wearing a bright green cast on his arm. And a bridge opening there was no way I could make it to work.

Yes I've been through a lot this week, just as I thought that I was going to go to work come home to a quiet house and all of a sudden bam!! I got hit with another event. J was in a lot of pain, his wrist was swollen, and it didn't look good. I asked him if he needed anything he said no. You take the bad with the good, thankfully it was only his wrist and not anything else.

As for my job search I took my test, for the school district I didn't pass it. I do have a few more shots in taking it over again, so I'm going to study hard and find a book that deals with test taking so I will be fresh and ready to aim high. I still don't understand why all of a sudden another career move, no one has the answer at the moment. I'm sure in due time it will be more of a clear picture. In the mean time have a safe and wonderful weekend. I have the house to myself. :D

Friday, September 15, 2006

This has been in the family for years. It was always hanging in the kitchen, next to the front door. Every day I would glance at it not really sure, what to make of it
until recently. It was the first thing that I brought home, after my mom had past. Instead of hanging it in the kitchen, I've got it hanging in the living room between our boys pictures. Above the fire place, I guess you can say it's been a prayer that I've turned to, when I can't seem to focus on anything else. I have many others, but this one seems to be the most fitting at the moment. I really don't feel like, having someone bash me over the head. No I haven't given up hope, there is no way we've come too far and done so much for C. That I would just curl up in a ball and fall to sleep right next to him.

May God Grant me the
Serenity to accept the
things I cannot change,
The Courage to Change the
things I can; And the wisdom
To know the difference.

Monday, September 11, 2006

A Lot Has Happened

Oh were to begin? I know it's been a while since I've said anything. Kids are doing well, a few quirks with C again! A never ending battle, not something that I would wish on anyone at the moment. I got a call from CH, you need to call the school, oh great! He's done worse and now C's stuck in the office waiting for me. Well not exactly. So how fast was I driving and where was I coming from? Had to get my neck and back worked on again. Same problem that I had back in the winter, so I went back for a second adjustment. Chiropractor put me back together again, asked how many pillows I sleep with? Two? Why? There's my problem I sleep with too many pillows at night and that is my foul up with my neck. I'll find a pillow that works one of these days. So back to C, I get the phone from CH do you have the number to the school? No not in my phone, so I pull off get the number from him, I call it for some reason it's not working for me. Either I've written it down wrong and I try to remember the number to the school, that didn't work so. He calls the teacher and she calls me. Where are you? How fast can you get here? I'm just outside of town tell her my location. The next thing she knew I'm already at the stop light waiting for it to turn green. As for my speed it would have been a major ticket KNOCK-ON-WOOD!! There was not one of those guys anywhere to be seen except on my way home. That's enough speeding for this chicky can't afford one of those at the moment.

C's teacher walks him to the office, big mistake on his part he didn't follow our rule of C he is to be sent directly to K's classroom when he gets out of control not the office. He'll either get sent home, kicked out of school and I'm the one that has to pick him up. Not exactly what I need at the moment. So I walk in the office the principle isn't too pleased well it's their damn fault they knew what they were getting into. Hell serves them right if they lose my son as a student, K doesn't want that, he is doing well in his studies. His behavior isn't pleasing the school at the moment. Their actions haven't, set well with us since Pre-K. What the hell do they expect a miracle with C? I don't see that happening. So after signing in at the office I walk over to the classroom were C is he's sitting there doing his work like a good boy. Well see how that lasts. K informs me we have an I.E.P coming up a week from Monday.

I've also got to think about putting him half day of kinder, and wait until next year to put him full day next school year. If C can't behave himself this year what the hell, how the hell is he going to make it through a full day of 1st grade. Apparently they aren't holding him back, he will be 6 in another month. Unlike his older brother he can do kinder work and is coming along with his studies. So he's got a good chance of making it to 1st grade. The only thing that is stopping him of making sure he stays all day is his behavior. Which is causing a lot of problems both here at home and at school and I'm not even sure how to fix it. I've tried time outs, taking things away from C. Nothing seems to work.

So How am I holding up? I haven't gotten to the point of crying, I can't there is too much going on, too many things need my attention. And I'm not letting it all get to me. I'm praying more my patience is half full and getting fuller with each passing day. As long as I'm reading keeping clear thoughts and not letting every little thing bother me I'm doing better. C's got a teacher that's going farther and beyond to what other teachers would go through.

As for J, he's coming along just fine. Has a little more homework this year, than last. Nothing too major. He's got science, history with the ususal Reading and writing and math. I love science which is right up my ally. Loved it in school and still love it today. He's got someone that knows what he's learning about and that helps a lot. He's also finally learning to read it may take him longer, but he's getting it.

As for my job, it's there. Not even close to home, which sucks. I've had to dip into my retirement savings for gas this last time. So we don't get overdrawn in our regular family account. Not good, sometimes I wonder if I should have gone to business school instead. (okay that was so negative of me). I'm sorry I'm just having a hard time accepting the fact, even though I'm so good at what I do. When your struggling to make ends meet and your auto starts acting up, and you so afraid that it might leave you stranded. It's time to really think about what is more important. Maybe I can find a job that is willing to train me better in computers, since I know how to answer phones and take messages. I've learned how to do that while working at a pizza parlor years ago and still do. I'm so ready to take a leap of faith, and if it wasn't for the house work that needs my attention I would travel to Sac. To look for that kind of a job.

Of Course I did apply at my local school district, haven't heard anything yet. I know it will take a while. At least it's a start, in the right direction. I think part of it is. I'm wanting to get my own place, where I can do my own massages and just be able to say this is truly mine. It will be years before I can do that, at least I can dream and not get too mad over it. Just like I was so hoping for a new auto, which is going to have to wait until we know for sure that this will work out. I'm one that doesn't give up, always looking for a new way of making things work. And if it means being away from my boys at night and keeping the window cracked and a radio blaring then, that's what I will have to do. In the meantime I will look for a new job and hopefully one with a 401k, and one that is willing to train. I'm more than likely asking for too much. We'll have to see.

I've been working on this post, since last Thursday. Here it is Monday, on my way to and from work flags have been set, half staff for those who lost loved ones. Local cemetery also had theirs set at that level, fire departments as well. Even though for some may not be working today others seem to have a job to do. Mine is to heal and bring peace to those who seem to need it most. And if I must leave what I love so be it. I'm not alone in setting up my dreams, I believe that god can be the opener of many doors.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Really Short

Sorry but this is going to be a really short post. We did get the results on C. He has ADHD, not Autism or Aspergers I think that's how you spell it. After two years and five doctors later the answer is now a clear picture. We can get him the help he needs, I've got a special ed teacher helping me with a visual chart. I don't have the right programs that can do this. She said it would take about two weeks to get it set up. What a blessing! To know we're going to get the help he needs. I've been very tired lately, due to so much going on. And wondering when we would find someone to give us the right answer. When I got home Thursday afternoon I had 5 messages, from counselors to the school I.E.P coordinator. We talked about both boys. J was to receive an aid this year. Due to the teachers not recording his difficulties in his classes they didn't put in the request for this year. Until this past week, they are now doing what they were suppose to do. I'm also getting pretty fed up being a C.M.T. (that will wait until I can get a clearer picture on how things are to be at this job. I hate to start a new career path, were I'm to be led to next).

Today I've been slept in until 9 a.m. which is pretty late for me. I can't do that tomorrow I have to be at work by 10 a.m. and won't get off until around 5 p.m. Other wise I'm doing good, it's been a busy week and hopefully I can post again on how things will turn out. In the meantime I'm going Dove Hunting with the boys.