Monday, December 10, 2007

Conversations And Other Stuff

Maybe it should read TMI, of course there is other things, that sisters and brothers should not share with one another. My loving brother who I'm very close with has been calling me a lot lately, he's finally got himself a cell phone one that he can actaully call me on. And one that I hope that he can keep. So any way here's what our blushing conversation went.

Brother - Hey Sis what's going on?

Me - Nothing much getting dinner done.

Brother - I've er got something to ask you, that I can't ask any one else. (My thoughts oh great don't tell me about your sex life, because I'm not interested in it).

Brother - Are you still there?

Me - Yes. Okay go ahead and ask....or dare I want to know.

Brother - Have you ever.....um.....shaved your neither regions?

Me - OH MY GOD I don't believe your asking me this question, this is one thing you just don't share with your sister!

Brother - It's one question you just don't ask your best friend because he's a guy, and I couldn't ask him for his opinion...I had to ask you.

Me - Okay here's the deal...if I tell you....YOU better not say another word to me about this,

Brother - Oh this is cool! I've finally gotten you out of your box. My thoughts my own brother has gotten me good! Well are you going to tell me?

Me - Yes I have are you happy Now!?! Since you've got me blushing let me just say my brother was very proud of himself, he was laughing thought it was pretty good. To say the least I told him the truth he asked if it's suppose to burn? Okay you know something this is not my favorite subject Brother - I know isn't it great your finally opening up? Oh hell!!... I use to.... not any more too many infections. Now I just shave my bikini line, I hope your happy for getting me all flustered Brother - Yes very happy. My thoughts your lucky you don't live close someone was getting some ice in a bag under the covers. Brother - Is it suppose to burn? So your pain eh LOL! Okay that's uncalled for. To say the least I wanted to crown my brother; We talked about how his new girl friend and him were getting along, and how his work was going. Just the regular every day stuff. He finally talked to our sister and my God Mother who isn't all that well, at least she is moving along pretty well for a 92 yr old.

After lots of thinking and praying I've decided to return back to school, they don't have any day classes, only evening I've got two people in mind. I'm sure that this will work out and I can move on to bigger and better challenges. For some reason I love a challenge I also like to take chances of doing things that get me motivated in the right direction. So I'm going to start back to school on Dec 19Th. My orientation is on Dec 13Th, which is just right around the corner. I'm excited yet a little nervous of going back, I know this will be good for me, and hopefully when the time is right I can go back into massage therapy, and find a school that is not so costly.

This has been sitting on my computer for a week yikes! I had it all figured out put boys to bed finish and head to bed myself, as some plans do fail at times at least I've finally got a post that isn't three weeks delay. As soon as I get this baby sitting thing in order and hopefully that will be soon, I'll be posting a little more.

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Where To Begin

Yes those who are still here, it's been a crazy week; And feeling the pinch of how the hell did I get into this mess in the first place? And now I've put a forbearance against my student loan because I don't make enough to pay the damn bill, because my boss has decided not to give me a raise after being there for a year, oh you get a shirt instead, that won't pay my truck payment that won't help buy my boys shoes they need, that won't help with our house payment that just went up a hundred dollars this month; Hell I should have thought this through a lot more than I did. The only light that has actually seeing us through if it works out, is babysitting we'll see how long I can keep up with it, without losing my Patience with C. She's a friend of mine we lost contact a few years ago. My wonderful friend said she couldn't do it because she makes too much. She asked me if I was willing to help out? So I've got two girls along with J and C. We do need the extra income the only thing is I'll have to claim this money on my taxes, I'm getting paid through the county.

The thin light to this situation is possably going back to school again, the only problem with that is finding the time, money and praying for a miracle, without nothing going wrong. Hell I've had it a lot worse than this, that's one memory that I have never shared with any one, the only people that know is my brother and my sister we feel it more this time of year. I'll just leave the rest alone. So any way back to my forbearance loan when I was talking to the customer service rep, she said that it will be for 1 yr, so I don't have to pay anything the only thing that would help a lot is for me to go back to school asap, even though the loan is inactive the default will turn itself around saying that I'm a student trying to make a better life for her family.

So here's my question to any one that has ever done this before, so what college should I be looking into? One that will take ungodly time to get through or one that will help finding a job in less than a year? Any suggestions would help. Right now Massage Therapy this time of year sucks big time, at least I was working during Thanksgiving weekend. Having three appointments and all of them are either five dollar tips or on the cards it doesn't help, most of us live off of our tips when our paychecks are gone. That's were I'm standing right now, of course it doesn't help that I'm taking a much needed break at the end of this month so I can clear my head without feeling more stressed out than I am feeling right now.

I would look for a new job right now which is imposable, I mean anything can change at work they could have me booked solid or it could stay the same. Even though one of Ch's old crew members asked me if I was willing to work up in Napa at a place that I had applied sevarel months ago, I would if the price was right, I'm not traveling up there when she wants to pay me $7.00 an hour the same is what I'm making now. And if the tips are anything like I'm getting at this place it wouldn't be worth the drive, traffic, and gas, I should be bringing home more than $453.02 that was my last paycheck. Hell yes it could be a lot worse, I can't even go down to my uncles house who doesn't live too far from me, every time I call him he wants to know when I'm coming to see him. I tell him soon, I know that's not good enough which hurts me a lot for telling him that. He's the one that helped my mom out when us kids were little.

Every thing happens for a reason, hell maybe a second time in going back to school will be better than the first. If I can figure out a way of paying for the classes, right now I'm feeling very stressed one minute I feel hungry the next, I'm not wanting anything to eat; This has happen before, when I get like this or I want to cry, pray, scream with rage and feeling as if I'm being tortured of Christmas Past. That's one memory I don't want my boys to ever have, I will not beg my mother in law for money we did that last month, because we didn't have enough to pay our house payment lucky for us dad doesn't know unless mom told him. Praying she didn't.

Praying for happy, peaceful thoughts and may I find my path that lead me to more of peace that I'm feeling right now.