Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Where to begin

As I posted last year my son was dating a 15 year old well she's now 16 years old and has caused more issues from last year; they both shared a face book page my cousin called me three days before 4th of July asking me if I've seen his face book page what was posted on there I told her no I wasn't aware of any thing negative. I do not pry unless J.J. leaves his face book open from the night before. From what I was told and confirmed it with my son is that she posted no body cares, I questioned my son is this what you posted or did she! This is not what you want out there because I'm going to get phone calls and the next thing I knew I was getting another phone call.

The next day my Aunt by marriage called up my son and asked him what the hell is going on?!? He told me it's nothing, okay it's nothing when your so called girl friend is posting pictures of her threating to kill herself and wanting J. J. to do the same! Another picture she had posted was blood splattered all over the sink with a old fashion razor blade, my son believes he can "save" her from not harming herself. I explained to him on several occasions that this is not a healthy relationship she's crying out for her help and her parents don't give a damn.

Her parents have them sleeping on a 35 foot boat, she has no respect for adults who talk to her, she has no moral support, I tried to show her until she screwed up and told my husband in a text how to raise our son. She even suggested me taking him to the doctors because he had caught the flu which C had brought home from school, he did not bother to tell her that I had been sick or that his brother was sick which put a bigger strain on a relationship that barely got started.

On July 5th my son decides he wants some of his stuff, and brings over the sheriffs department to get his stuff which pissed me off I even told him in front of the sheriffs don't bring them again, I informed him his glasses were ready because his landed in the water, while he was spending the day with his girl friend. He had to pay for them we weren't going to be responsible for another pair. His grandmother had to take him to get them I wasn't driving out of town or taking him any where he needs to go.

J.J. feels he can live under a roof with a mother that has a drinking problem a father who supposedly works, what I'm afraid of is her parents getting pissed off at my son for something and he could end up going to jail, he doesn't see it that way he sees it's okay to live with a minor, it's okay to tell your parents that this is "LOVE" when I know it's not. J.J. thinks he can save her, I've tried to explain to him you can't save someone that does not want to be saved or is worth saving.

Being 18 and being in so called love he's, going to find it's tough living with your girl friends parents I've been there done that would not do it again. He forgets we lived with his grandparents for 3 years and finally got our own place in 1998, haven't lived with hubby's parents since then, now he thinks he's living on his own no drivers license her parents are going to help him get his drivers license, we'll see how long it takes for him to even get his insurance because ssi doesn't pay much.

He did have a job some how he lost it, about a month ago we're all wondering if his girl friend cost him his employment. She doesn't care, nor does she care if he has a decent paying job, we told him Cal-Trans is hiring if they can change the rules and the testing he can be a deck hand for the ferries that run between two Islands. The girl friend didn't like that one bit it's like she doesn't care if he has a good paying job with benefits.

The only thing I've told J.J. that was done with his relationship with his girl friend I don't want anything to do with her for the fact that she doesn't have a loving relationship with her parents isn't like what J.J. has been shown all his life, she's convinced him that what they share is. I know school will be starting soon, both will not be seeing each other very much she may be attending a continuation school because she didn't make the grades in summer school to remain at the high school J.J. will be attending for adult education.

As for now I'll be attending counseling through our medical insurance, I've told J.J. he needs to do the same in order for him to even think about staying in this relationship, in the long run one of them is going to find themselves way over their heads if he hasn't already. Yes I'm upset, sadden that he's met someone that he can not find the courage to tell her parents she needs help more than what he can give.

This is all for now.