In many ways I'm happy to be starting a new year, with so much that has happened in the past year; I'm ready for a new beginning, new dreams, and goals to accomplish. Like many I've ferreted over the economy have watched my paychecks decline, along with clients who have cancelled their memberships have kept my fingers crossed for a incline in clients with gift cards which seemed to be a hot seller for Christmas. And yet my tips have been less than $100.00; My only option right now and praying for a miracle that I can pass the test for a school district. I have one more chance to pass the math portion of it and I'm in, which means I will not have to worry over clients leaving, I won't have to worry about getting hit or coming across an accident. Watching a medic chopper land in a farmers field while the children of the driver watch their mother being flown to the hospital. If I had a stuff animal or two with me I would have given them to the contractor without a second thought; and yes I look at these as signs, my commuting has taken a toll on me. I have to keep a opened mind, heart and spiritually confident that I will achieve a math test that will get me a better job.

I can not stand the fact that I may end up losing my home, my suv and my schooling, I have made a big mistake and that was going to school to become a massage therapist that has failed to bring enough of a paycheck to keep my family afloat, I have looked for a job there is nothing out there that will accept someone who has no experience in business or accounting. What is left is going to bow down to a McDonald's type of work which is the last thing I want to do, I have no intentions of bowing down to a business that I have no confidence in. I and Ch ended up borrowing money from his parents because the tires on my suv, were so bad that they could not wait until our income tax return comes in. I have cut back in spending, it's gotten to the point were I forget to take a lunch to work because I'm having nightmares and can not sleep. I have to change this habit of hitting the snooze button after 5:45 a.m. and get up to get my body ready for the day.

As for resolutions I made none, not one did I make. There is too much that I need to focus on, most of them would fall into the cracks and where would I be? How would I feel if I had let one of those resolutions slip through my hands!?! Right now I have to maintain a positive outlook I have to remain in school so I can undo the mistakes that I have made, to look at the positive side of what is important. I have one goal in mind and that is to go to Hawaii since we have missed three family trips in three different years, to the Islands that have a powerful spiritual bond with the seas. Not to mention a trip to the Virgin Islands my in-laws would like to take us there; I know it will take some time in doing, I know what I have to do first and that is to make it through school and to make it through a school district test.

In closing this long post of what not, I will leave you with this

It is God to whom and with when we
travel, and while He is the End of our
journey, He is also at every stopping place.

-Elisabeth Elliot