Season

Brother's and Sister's

This month has been full of unseen circumstances for one the man that abandoned I and my two siblings died on June 25Th almost a month ago, for myself and my brother it was no big deal he left us for another woman and didn't contact us for 28 years. Last December my brother C, received a phone call from him asking to come to Fl my brother's exact words I would rather go to Cali and see my sister than to see you! My brother was already homesick and his call made it worse my brother Anthony (not used as his first name) calls me crying I want to come home Sis ( he has always calls me sis for the longest time). Please come and get me, I explained to him if I had extra money I would bring him home, we cried and I prayed for both of us.

I asked him what happen he explained to me about the phone call received he told me he would never go without me no matter what happens he kept his promise, the end of June was the memorial service for the Jackass that left us. My brother and I did not attend, my sister attended the memorial service she called and started yelling at me because Anthony was suppose to be there I explained to her, if she would keep in contact with Anthony that she would know the truth. As hard as she took it she insisted on fighting me over this stupid guy that died. Hell I don't care if she wanted closure for some Jackass that didn't send my Mother child support when we were grade school and beyond. He asked for what he got and Karma gave him prostate cancer.

I did ask for advice from my Father who faced reality and remains in contact with me. That is another story and yes I have forgiven him and has received love from his first family. He explained to me in the Mexican culture it's respecting the dead, he also knew that Jackass abandoned us which makes it even difficult to attend some one's memorial service if there was no contact for 28 years.

I did receive so awful text messages from the Bitch that was engaged to another man, and pursued a man with a family and was married also known as adultery in the passages of the bible. I know in some parts of the world that is considered death by any means, but for my Mother who raised three kids by herself with little financial help from the county and asked our neighbor's son who was operating an almond factory my mother would not been able to feed us kids or bought clothes for us.

The text I received from the wicked witch of the East, were out of line and unforgivable.

Text #1 Sorry your just jealous because your brother and sister talk to their father.

When in fact that neither one of us had ever had contact with him for 28 yrs doesn't give her the right to tell me I'm jealous.

Text #2 Jackass did talk to Anthony and Kay until you stepped in.

Text #3 Was just as worse as the first two.

That's a lie I lived with my mom, brother, and sister and further more I talk to Anthony more than he talked to his father. Of course she didn't like what I text back to her, I sent the text messages to Anthony he was pissed to say the least actually someone would have gone to jail if I and Anthony went to Fl. because neither one of us would not put up with any one's crap, or let anyone tell me I'm not related to Anthony or my sister Kay.

Believe me it got much worse on July 4Th I and Anthony gave her more of a negative reception than anyone has ever received, I asked her what right did she have to take the only man I knew after all she was engaged and marry someone that was already married, of course she blamed it on the green cards.

An excuse I will not accept I told her Ohana means family, and we were a family until she showed up! Not only did I get into a fight with her, Anthony had his revenge on her as well. Anthony let her know on no certain terms was she going to tell him I'm not his sister, nor was he going to allow him to be bossed by some bitch that is not his mother!

She tried to call him her son in Spanish my brother told her on no certain terms was she her son nor was she a mother to him because our mother is no longer with us, she was not the least bit happy to hear that my brother would not accept her as his mother. Oh well that's how the mop flops you can't always have what you want, only what you receive.

Each word and phrase was not what she had expected of him, either way we had our sweet revenge on a person who caused nothing but heartache and shame, I think mom would have been proud of us for standing up to someone who deserve whatever life throws her way. I have no pity for a person who stabs another family in the back, and takes their parent away from them, it's cheap and disrespectful.

July 11, 2011

I came home from work and checked my f.b. to see how Anthony's best friend was she didn't make it her heart failed her, she died of congestive heart failure on July 11Th at 11:00 a.m. I called Anthony to tell him the news, his voice mail was backed up with messages he hadn't erased. I called his friend and let him know his best friend and adopted sister had gone to be her heavenly father, and to call home as soon as he can.

Last Thursday I went to the memorial service, I took Anthony's place even though I knew her for a short time it was best that I attended the service she knew my mom, sister, brother and myself. I ran into a few of my brother's former co-workers, and a security guard that worked where my brother had worked.

On the day that I was leaving I found out from Jackass's former boss he had a 401 k that was put in an account, his wife received the money while his former family suffered through tough financial times. His former boss was shocked to learned that I his daughter did not attend his funeral nor did we have contact for 28 yrs, at least I know where the money went to his second family what a bitch!

I told Anthony what I had learned he was not happy to find out that his 401 k went to her, that was suppose to be for us as payback for what he still owes us, we will not nor will we get that money back at least my mom got three children to love out the mess.

I don't care what anyone says he adopted me and I became his daughter not through my mom and his love for each other but through adoption papers, and I can give a rats ass what anyone says my two siblings are mine!

Both events happen within three weeks of each other, one I cared for more than the other. I stayed with my childhood neighbors and attended her church that is how I found out about the 401 K, as they karma gets even with those who have done wrong. I also believe blood is thicker than water. For what it's worth I'm now over my anger of the situation with Jackass he had his chance to contact us and he choose to wait until last December.

His idea for making for lost time was a little too late on his part he should have said something a lot sooner than what he did. I remember the Judge who did the divorce for my mom, was the same one who did the adoption for me to become part of his family, the judge had warned him back in 1993 he may not have receive a warm welcome.

I and my siblings made sure of it, we didn't give them a warm welcome it more of a what the hell do you think your going to get by coming to see us!?! He had his chance not to bring her and for whatever reason he brought his second wife which made matters even worse for the three of us. She claims my mom and her were best friends they were more like enemies than friends.

This is all for now I've got more to write as it is this late being published C. G. asked how I was and since I started this a while ago I figured I get it posted while I can.

How do I find my list of bloggers?

I have thought about writing for quit some time now, just haven't had the chance to blog. I miss makes be feel so much better once I get my thoughts out and not have so much clutter, today I decided to do some reading low and behold I lost all of my favorite blogger. My guess is Google changed their settings or something happen hell if I know, but at least whatever happen to my favorite blogger at least I have a place to vent.

So what has Summer rose have been doing? Still attending school I have a year and a half left I'm feeling good about accomplishing something without quitting although there have been a few times I felt the need to quit, the impact out weighed the consequences so I managed to keep going and keep dreaming. Both have kept from not losing my mind, at least both of my boys will have some say in the matter when they get older.

Jr. is a sophomore this year in high school, he wants to attend a community college in Idaho where his Uncle lives I'm a little torn by his wanting to venture out after high school, but I also know the choice is his to make I can't stop him. His reading is getting better everyday he's got a good R.S.P teacher which is good, at first he put up a fight of wanting to transfer to another high school after we had him attend an IEP meeting ( Individual Education Plan) he realized how much his mom has to collaborate with teachers and other staff members.

He learned real quick mom finds out everything, and now he's brought up his grades in history, P.E. and a few other classes along the way, his teachers admire his progress. He's reading at a third grade level, I explained to him he needs to start setting up reading goals and see how many he can accomplish by the end of the school year. We are both going to be working hard toward his reading goals.

As the day and months have worn on there is a grey cloud hanging over our loving family and it's one that I have to share. As I had mention a few months back C came home for good it's been about 5 months since I and Ch had brought C home, at first his behavior was positive at school and at home, recently that has changed he started hitting again threaten to run away which he tried to do luckily he didn't get too far, punched holes in his bedroom walls which Ch and I have to patch I ended up taking all of his toys out of his room again. Not something I was looking forward to doing.

Tonight we had family therapy and told C and the therapist we will not tolerate any more bad behaviors C knows his negative behavior doesn't do him any good but only gets everyone angry. He also knows if it continues we as his parents have the right to have him physically removed from the home, it's not that we don't love him or don't want him. It's the fact once again I'm being hit when C is in a bad mood, it's not easy living with a child who constantly pushes everyone around him.

I know he doesn't have any friends to play with except for the xbox and a bike to ride, it's not easy for him to not have any one to play with. At the same time I, Ch, and his older brother play games with him take him out fishing when Ch is going with his dad. Other times he's watching t.v. I know it's tough on him not having any one his own age to play with, there isn't much I can do about it at the moment. C is good about completing his chores except for cleaning his room for some reason he has a hard time with that task, maybe it's a boy thing I don't know.

With every thing going on with both boys they are both getting along just fine, sure they have their sibbling moments at least it's not like it use to be. J has been able to keep his wits about him and not cause trouble, I've gotten to the point to give J a lot of free time. J helps with cleaning the house while I work late on Fridays by the time I get home from work the house looks nice he's a real whiz at cleaning. Since he has youth group at the Church we attend he stays in R.V. and hangs out with his friends, it's good for him to be with his friends he grew up with. Living 5 minutes away from R.V. has taken a toll on J, he understands why we had to move but he still misses living in R.V. and I don't blame him so do I.

Last but not least, Ch brought home a kitten from work. He couldn't help himself she was stuck in one of the buildings out at the Real McCoy ferry on Highway 84, he couldn't resist. Come to find out at least 30 cats live out there, this one was either dumped or the mother abandon her Ch, pictured text me and said look what I'm bringing home, at first I thought he was kidding and when I text him again he said he wasn't. Her name is Squeakers, at first I wasn't sure if she was going to make it. I told Ch we should've named her faith, because she made it through the first 72 hours of being with us, she's been bottle fed for the last three weeks from the information I found she's about ready for kitten Chow.

Well this all for now I'm going to be working on blogging a lot more in the coming weeks that way I can start clearing my thoughts, I need to do this more often I forgot how much stress I can releave just from getting my thoughts out of my head.

Happy Holidays to those who are still interested in reading.

A little Venting

Since C will be arriving July 16Th with all of his stuff he has collected and other belongings, I and Ch finally told C he will be coming home on July 16Th for good. No more bridge toll unless one of the kids needs to see the doc, and how we broke the news was over breakfast before leaving to Ch's co-workers house, the co-workers wife will be watching C on Friday afternoons since I don't arrive home until 5:00 p.m. because I work late, since I only work three days out of the week and I cannot cut my hours at work the co-workers wife said she would watch C for us.

That is not the part that bothers me the most, is the fact my in-laws took it all in stride, no words of I'm proud of you, positive comments that my mother would have said. Not a damn thing did they say both of them knew before C knew he was coming home.

What pisses me off the most is neither one of them care to even say I'm so proud of you what the hell! IT'S THEIR GRANDSON! Not one word did they say hey summer and Ch I'm happy he is coming home for good. We're proud of the hard work you have done with C, I'm to the point I want to move out of state so no one has the right to our boy's.

Is this the way grand kids are to be treated or acknowledged for his or her hard work give me a break! I've done all I can tried to make Ch's parents respect me all I get is you know the boys are out front you should be helping them with the water balloons well excuse me for having homework during a holiday weekend! And I'm sorry if getting good grades is what matters most to his parents!

I'm to the point of not telling them stuff about either one of the boys they don't care, since Ch's sister has gotten married and is off on the weekends. It's more about them, I guess being married for 15 yrs that is to be expected of them, it's like I don't matter to either of them. I've come to accepted it and finally have come to terms with it.

I know it's my fault for coming between Ch and his dad, I realize it now. As for his mother we don't say much to each other, ever since I told her I would be attending University of Phoenix, she had the nerve of saying why don't you attend the Community College it's cheaper and they help you. I did not like the Community College and after talking with the staff at University of Phoenix I had a better opportunity of having better access to the instructors and guess what I'm happy.

Because I choose the school that meets my learning needs, it's my choice of what college to attend, I'm sorry for not having the brains she has. But at least I know somewhere down the road I will have a better paying job, to support my family and loving my family is more important than dealing with his parents.

Sorry for venting but I needed to get this off of my chest, and maybe it was wrong of me to do my homework on the 4Th of July, Ch understood where I was coming from and is supportive for going back to school even though it's been tough but I'm succeeding.

It's Summer Already!!

Here it is almost the end of June and I come back from taking an unwanted break and find blogger has changed their settings! Being that I love to mess with settings I thought I would at least give it a shot so here is my new look for new beginnings. I have found that being away from here has taken a toll on me I miss the ones I comment on, I also miss the ones that use to be on here, you know who your leave a message on my GMail account just let me know you are doing well.

In other thoughts of writing I might as well tell my readers or what is left of them, I and Ch are doing very well, C will be discharged from the bay area on July 16Th 2010, I and Ch are a little nervous, excited, and hopeful, C has made a lot of progress in his abilities of controlling his moods both at home and at school, he is in between grades in school. Meaning he can handle 3rd grade math but his reading is in the 4Th grade, he has no idea he is coming home next month.

We were advised to wait until July 4Th weekend to tell him, I am happy he's able to return home without med of any kind only verbal directions C is able to control his emotions. We are grateful for a wonderful family therapist and the staff for helping C when he needed to be directed to do his work. C is able to tell us what is bothering him and how he is feeling when he is here on the weekends.

As for our oldest he just finished his first year of high school I cannot believe he will be a sophomore on Aug 16Th, he was barely starting school, now a high school student! He is doing well we had a tough first year of high school teachers not wanting to help us with homework so J Jr. would have a better understanding of math his reading is coming along, I'm not pushing him to do well there he's gotten the concepts of reading.

I just completed another class this time accounting squeaked by with a C+ I'm proud and happy to have passed it! I still don't know all the concepts of accounting but for now I'm not worried about it, if I need it in the future I'll keep the book just in case, I'll use it for a reference. If not I'll use for a coaster!

My hubby or to those who know him best Ch is doing well, he is still an acting supervisor with the state cutting their staff and individuals retiring they haven't found anyone to take his place so he can step down and be a lead worker. Knock-On-Wood! I like having him on days he's home when I'm home I don't have to worry about a baby sitter when I have to attend school.

I would rather him working the day shift especially with C, coming home I would rather have both of us at home during the week except when I have school, and both of us are here we can at least try to have family dinners as much as possible.

This is all for now I'm sorry for a long break, mainly school is taking up most of my time and seeing C every week hasn't helped, soon this blog will be up to date on everything are doing and what we plan on doing in the future.

Before I forget Jr. is going to summer bible camp for a week! :)

Unwanted News

I'm not sure how to put what I'm about to say in words, nor do I believe it was true I had to call my Auntie to comfirm what my loving husband Ch told me was true. I lost my Uncle he was the one who gave me away at my wedding my brother was suppose to do the honor, until my Uncle stepped up and said no I will, since it was more of his place than my brother's.

We always had a family bond my Aunt, Uncle and Cousin who is now here in the states use to come down from Sac. and spend the day with us, or we would go up for the day and end up spending the rest of weekend with my Aunt and Uncle because my mom would have a glass of wine and that would be it. We knew were staying, for another day, they lived across the street from the school so I my brother and sister would play at the school we had a lot of fun, we use to hide from my Uncle. The three of us would run back to the house laughing because he would be searching for the three of us, or we would be sitting on steps of school while my Uncle would be walking around in circles looking for us.

Our favorite words would be oh were you looking for us? We've been here the whole time, not that he really cared one way or the other, he loved kids him and my aunt could not have any not sure why and since it was not something us kids wanted to know, we figured it was best to leave the subject alone.

Other times my Uncle and Cousin would come down without my aunt, she loved visiting us we had rabbits, chickens, and cows. It was more of a petting zoo for her for us it was work from the time got up until dusk, we did not mind it, we showed her how to hold a rabbit without getting scratched and pet the cows without getting hurt we even had her feed one out of her hand she thought it was cool. Talk about one strange Cousin living in the City she didn't get the opportunity of farm life that we had.

My Uncle R. went to be with the Lord on April 16,2010. he passed from Cancer in his throat, and in his stomach. My Aunt was with him he peacefully left her, I found out on Sunday April 18Th, I had to tell my sister and my brother that our Uncle had passed away. My sister refused to come down and spend the weekend with me, I begged her pleaded with her, she would not budge. I ended up calling her and telling her the news.

My Uncle was 67 when he passed he told the three of us to promise him we would not ride a motor cycle to this very day I still will not ride one, neither would my siblings Ch asked me why I would not get on one I finally told me because I made a promise I would not ride one that promise has been kept since I was 6 years old, or even older.

I went up to my Aunt's house the weekend before last, I didn't tell my sister I was going it was better since she seems to have enough stuff going on she didn't need to know, I even suggested her coming to stay with me for the weekend of his remembrance service to be held on June 1st. She said she's too busy.

My Uncle donated his body for research to U.S.C, that was his request. Although he is no longer with us, he created a face book profile I finally joined, I found his page went through his friends list found his daughter my cousin contacted her, then I found another Aunt who lives in IA. She will be here during Memorial weekend. Her youngest daughter lost her husband today he was a truck driver not sure what happen he leaves behind a 10 year old daughter.

Before my Uncle died Jr. and him were talking about my birthday him and my Aunt were going to come down and spend it with me. J Jr. was out spring break prior to his passing both were saying how bored they both were, my Aunt still works and since my Uncle was told to take it easy face book and my space was his outlet keeping in touch with family. Now my Aunt has to make sure she keeps in touch with the family.

My Uncle isn't suffering from the surgeries, he isn't eating three to six small meals a day, the doctors removed part of his stomach and esophagus in order to get rid of the cancer he was in remission for one year, recently he couldn't keep anything down and loosing weight fast. My Aunt took him to the doctors and found the Cancer had returned.

There was nothing the doctors could do, my Aunt took care of him, they were married for 38 years would have been 39 on Nov 1st. Even though he is gone he made everyone laugh he loved I and my bother and sister.

At least he got to see me get married I believe that was his goal in life is to see me married to some one who loves me very much. As for my two siblings my brother has to remain out of state and my sister has already said she will not be coming, life goes on.

I needed to get this off my chest, I do miss him I'm praying my Aunt will stay in Cali for a few more years. I don't want to her to move to Co, it would be too far for me to visit. We will see what the year brings.

Happy 35th Birthday

If I can think of myself as loved,
I can love and accept others. If
I see myself as forgiven, I can
be gracious toward others.
If I see myself as powerful, I
can do what I know is right.
If I see myself as full, I can
give myself freely to others.

~Kathy Peel~