How do I find my list of bloggers?

I have thought about writing for quit some time now, just haven't had the chance to blog. I miss makes be feel so much better once I get my thoughts out and not have so much clutter, today I decided to do some reading low and behold I lost all of my favorite blogger. My guess is Google changed their settings or something happen hell if I know, but at least whatever happen to my favorite blogger at least I have a place to vent.

So what has Summer rose have been doing? Still attending school I have a year and a half left I'm feeling good about accomplishing something without quitting although there have been a few times I felt the need to quit, the impact out weighed the consequences so I managed to keep going and keep dreaming. Both have kept from not losing my mind, at least both of my boys will have some say in the matter when they get older.

Jr. is a sophomore this year in high school, he wants to attend a community college in Idaho where his Uncle lives I'm a little torn by his wanting to venture out after high school, but I also know the choice is his to make I can't stop him. His reading is getting better everyday he's got a good R.S.P teacher which is good, at first he put up a fight of wanting to transfer to another high school after we had him attend an IEP meeting ( Individual Education Plan) he realized how much his mom has to collaborate with teachers and other staff members.

He learned real quick mom finds out everything, and now he's brought up his grades in history, P.E. and a few other classes along the way, his teachers admire his progress. He's reading at a third grade level, I explained to him he needs to start setting up reading goals and see how many he can accomplish by the end of the school year. We are both going to be working hard toward his reading goals.

As the day and months have worn on there is a grey cloud hanging over our loving family and it's one that I have to share. As I had mention a few months back C came home for good it's been about 5 months since I and Ch had brought C home, at first his behavior was positive at school and at home, recently that has changed he started hitting again threaten to run away which he tried to do luckily he didn't get too far, punched holes in his bedroom walls which Ch and I have to patch I ended up taking all of his toys out of his room again. Not something I was looking forward to doing.

Tonight we had family therapy and told C and the therapist we will not tolerate any more bad behaviors C knows his negative behavior doesn't do him any good but only gets everyone angry. He also knows if it continues we as his parents have the right to have him physically removed from the home, it's not that we don't love him or don't want him. It's the fact once again I'm being hit when C is in a bad mood, it's not easy living with a child who constantly pushes everyone around him.

I know he doesn't have any friends to play with except for the xbox and a bike to ride, it's not easy for him to not have any one to play with. At the same time I, Ch, and his older brother play games with him take him out fishing when Ch is going with his dad. Other times he's watching t.v. I know it's tough on him not having any one his own age to play with, there isn't much I can do about it at the moment. C is good about completing his chores except for cleaning his room for some reason he has a hard time with that task, maybe it's a boy thing I don't know.

With every thing going on with both boys they are both getting along just fine, sure they have their sibbling moments at least it's not like it use to be. J has been able to keep his wits about him and not cause trouble, I've gotten to the point to give J a lot of free time. J helps with cleaning the house while I work late on Fridays by the time I get home from work the house looks nice he's a real whiz at cleaning. Since he has youth group at the Church we attend he stays in R.V. and hangs out with his friends, it's good for him to be with his friends he grew up with. Living 5 minutes away from R.V. has taken a toll on J, he understands why we had to move but he still misses living in R.V. and I don't blame him so do I.

Last but not least, Ch brought home a kitten from work. He couldn't help himself she was stuck in one of the buildings out at the Real McCoy ferry on Highway 84, he couldn't resist. Come to find out at least 30 cats live out there, this one was either dumped or the mother abandon her Ch, pictured text me and said look what I'm bringing home, at first I thought he was kidding and when I text him again he said he wasn't. Her name is Squeakers, at first I wasn't sure if she was going to make it. I told Ch we should've named her faith, because she made it through the first 72 hours of being with us, she's been bottle fed for the last three weeks from the information I found she's about ready for kitten Chow.

Well this all for now I'm going to be working on blogging a lot more in the coming weeks that way I can start clearing my thoughts, I need to do this more often I forgot how much stress I can releave just from getting my thoughts out of my head.

Happy Holidays to those who are still interested in reading.

A little Venting

Since C will be arriving July 16Th with all of his stuff he has collected and other belongings, I and Ch finally told C he will be coming home on July 16Th for good. No more bridge toll unless one of the kids needs to see the doc, and how we broke the news was over breakfast before leaving to Ch's co-workers house, the co-workers wife will be watching C on Friday afternoons since I don't arrive home until 5:00 p.m. because I work late, since I only work three days out of the week and I cannot cut my hours at work the co-workers wife said she would watch C for us.

That is not the part that bothers me the most, is the fact my in-laws took it all in stride, no words of I'm proud of you, positive comments that my mother would have said. Not a damn thing did they say both of them knew before C knew he was coming home.

What pisses me off the most is neither one of them care to even say I'm so proud of you what the hell! IT'S THEIR GRANDSON! Not one word did they say hey summer and Ch I'm happy he is coming home for good. We're proud of the hard work you have done with C, I'm to the point I want to move out of state so no one has the right to our boy's.

Is this the way grand kids are to be treated or acknowledged for his or her hard work give me a break! I've done all I can tried to make Ch's parents respect me all I get is you know the boys are out front you should be helping them with the water balloons well excuse me for having homework during a holiday weekend! And I'm sorry if getting good grades is what matters most to his parents!

I'm to the point of not telling them stuff about either one of the boys they don't care, since Ch's sister has gotten married and is off on the weekends. It's more about them, I guess being married for 15 yrs that is to be expected of them, it's like I don't matter to either of them. I've come to accepted it and finally have come to terms with it.

I know it's my fault for coming between Ch and his dad, I realize it now. As for his mother we don't say much to each other, ever since I told her I would be attending University of Phoenix, she had the nerve of saying why don't you attend the Community College it's cheaper and they help you. I did not like the Community College and after talking with the staff at University of Phoenix I had a better opportunity of having better access to the instructors and guess what I'm happy.

Because I choose the school that meets my learning needs, it's my choice of what college to attend, I'm sorry for not having the brains she has. But at least I know somewhere down the road I will have a better paying job, to support my family and loving my family is more important than dealing with his parents.

Sorry for venting but I needed to get this off of my chest, and maybe it was wrong of me to do my homework on the 4Th of July, Ch understood where I was coming from and is supportive for going back to school even though it's been tough but I'm succeeding.

It's Summer Already!!

Here it is almost the end of June and I come back from taking an unwanted break and find blogger has changed their settings! Being that I love to mess with settings I thought I would at least give it a shot so here is my new look for new beginnings. I have found that being away from here has taken a toll on me I miss the ones I comment on, I also miss the ones that use to be on here, you know who your leave a message on my GMail account just let me know you are doing well.

In other thoughts of writing I might as well tell my readers or what is left of them, I and Ch are doing very well, C will be discharged from the bay area on July 16Th 2010, I and Ch are a little nervous, excited, and hopeful, C has made a lot of progress in his abilities of controlling his moods both at home and at school, he is in between grades in school. Meaning he can handle 3rd grade math but his reading is in the 4Th grade, he has no idea he is coming home next month.

We were advised to wait until July 4Th weekend to tell him, I am happy he's able to return home without med of any kind only verbal directions C is able to control his emotions. We are grateful for a wonderful family therapist and the staff for helping C when he needed to be directed to do his work. C is able to tell us what is bothering him and how he is feeling when he is here on the weekends.

As for our oldest he just finished his first year of high school I cannot believe he will be a sophomore on Aug 16Th, he was barely starting school, now a high school student! He is doing well we had a tough first year of high school teachers not wanting to help us with homework so J Jr. would have a better understanding of math his reading is coming along, I'm not pushing him to do well there he's gotten the concepts of reading.

I just completed another class this time accounting squeaked by with a C+ I'm proud and happy to have passed it! I still don't know all the concepts of accounting but for now I'm not worried about it, if I need it in the future I'll keep the book just in case, I'll use it for a reference. If not I'll use for a coaster!

My hubby or to those who know him best Ch is doing well, he is still an acting supervisor with the state cutting their staff and individuals retiring they haven't found anyone to take his place so he can step down and be a lead worker. Knock-On-Wood! I like having him on days he's home when I'm home I don't have to worry about a baby sitter when I have to attend school.

I would rather him working the day shift especially with C, coming home I would rather have both of us at home during the week except when I have school, and both of us are here we can at least try to have family dinners as much as possible.

This is all for now I'm sorry for a long break, mainly school is taking up most of my time and seeing C every week hasn't helped, soon this blog will be up to date on everything are doing and what we plan on doing in the future.

Before I forget Jr. is going to summer bible camp for a week! :)

Unwanted News

I'm not sure how to put what I'm about to say in words, nor do I believe it was true I had to call my Auntie to comfirm what my loving husband Ch told me was true. I lost my Uncle he was the one who gave me away at my wedding my brother was suppose to do the honor, until my Uncle stepped up and said no I will, since it was more of his place than my brother's.

We always had a family bond my Aunt, Uncle and Cousin who is now here in the states use to come down from Sac. and spend the day with us, or we would go up for the day and end up spending the rest of weekend with my Aunt and Uncle because my mom would have a glass of wine and that would be it. We knew were staying, for another day, they lived across the street from the school so I my brother and sister would play at the school we had a lot of fun, we use to hide from my Uncle. The three of us would run back to the house laughing because he would be searching for the three of us, or we would be sitting on steps of school while my Uncle would be walking around in circles looking for us.

Our favorite words would be oh were you looking for us? We've been here the whole time, not that he really cared one way or the other, he loved kids him and my aunt could not have any not sure why and since it was not something us kids wanted to know, we figured it was best to leave the subject alone.

Other times my Uncle and Cousin would come down without my aunt, she loved visiting us we had rabbits, chickens, and cows. It was more of a petting zoo for her for us it was work from the time got up until dusk, we did not mind it, we showed her how to hold a rabbit without getting scratched and pet the cows without getting hurt we even had her feed one out of her hand she thought it was cool. Talk about one strange Cousin living in the City she didn't get the opportunity of farm life that we had.

My Uncle R. went to be with the Lord on April 16,2010. he passed from Cancer in his throat, and in his stomach. My Aunt was with him he peacefully left her, I found out on Sunday April 18Th, I had to tell my sister and my brother that our Uncle had passed away. My sister refused to come down and spend the weekend with me, I begged her pleaded with her, she would not budge. I ended up calling her and telling her the news.

My Uncle was 67 when he passed he told the three of us to promise him we would not ride a motor cycle to this very day I still will not ride one, neither would my siblings Ch asked me why I would not get on one I finally told me because I made a promise I would not ride one that promise has been kept since I was 6 years old, or even older.

I went up to my Aunt's house the weekend before last, I didn't tell my sister I was going it was better since she seems to have enough stuff going on she didn't need to know, I even suggested her coming to stay with me for the weekend of his remembrance service to be held on June 1st. She said she's too busy.

My Uncle donated his body for research to U.S.C, that was his request. Although he is no longer with us, he created a face book profile I finally joined, I found his page went through his friends list found his daughter my cousin contacted her, then I found another Aunt who lives in IA. She will be here during Memorial weekend. Her youngest daughter lost her husband today he was a truck driver not sure what happen he leaves behind a 10 year old daughter.

Before my Uncle died Jr. and him were talking about my birthday him and my Aunt were going to come down and spend it with me. J Jr. was out spring break prior to his passing both were saying how bored they both were, my Aunt still works and since my Uncle was told to take it easy face book and my space was his outlet keeping in touch with family. Now my Aunt has to make sure she keeps in touch with the family.

My Uncle isn't suffering from the surgeries, he isn't eating three to six small meals a day, the doctors removed part of his stomach and esophagus in order to get rid of the cancer he was in remission for one year, recently he couldn't keep anything down and loosing weight fast. My Aunt took him to the doctors and found the Cancer had returned.

There was nothing the doctors could do, my Aunt took care of him, they were married for 38 years would have been 39 on Nov 1st. Even though he is gone he made everyone laugh he loved I and my bother and sister.

At least he got to see me get married I believe that was his goal in life is to see me married to some one who loves me very much. As for my two siblings my brother has to remain out of state and my sister has already said she will not be coming, life goes on.

I needed to get this off my chest, I do miss him I'm praying my Aunt will stay in Cali for a few more years. I don't want to her to move to Co, it would be too far for me to visit. We will see what the year brings.

Happy 35th Birthday

If I can think of myself as loved,
I can love and accept others. If
I see myself as forgiven, I can
be gracious toward others.
If I see myself as powerful, I
can do what I know is right.
If I see myself as full, I can
give myself freely to others.

~Kathy Peel~

Happy 16th Anniversary

It is true I and Ch have been married for that many years, which seems unreal to both of us. We celebrated our Anniversary in San Francisco last weekend, mom and dad-in-law watched both boys for us; and gave us one of their time shares to stay for the entire weekend away from home.

The weather was nice, middle sixties the room was amazing; we took a trolley down to Fisherman's wharf walked around, for a while then we headed across the street to some shops along the way, I found a place called Pick a pearl; I had seen one on the wharf near Bubba Gumps I didn't think to have stopped since there was a crowd standing around.

We decided to walk on the other side of Fisherman's wharf I wasn't sure if I should stop or keep walking I just wanted to check out their jewelery which turned out to be hey why don't you try your luck of getting a pearl? I was about to walk away when the employee of the shop suggested I take one of his coupons, so I did.

At first I wasn't all for it, then again I don't usually get anything, but hey! you never know until you try. I did what the employee said to do I said a Hawaiian blessing, the anticipation of finding a real pearl in a oyster shell is not that often, turns out my 16Th anniversary present was indeed a real black pearl.

I could not believe it! I have a black pearl that I will be put in a ring, as soon as I find a ring that I like. Ch was surprised but not as surprised as I was especially when the employee said it's worth some money, of course setting the pear in a ring is not cheap I'm already looking for a place that will set it in a ring for me.

We even took a boat ride under the Golden Gate and, around Alcatraz Island it was a nice ride; The wind was starting to pick up and the sun was going behind the clouds made it for a pretty sun set. We headed back to the hotel, and got ready for our evening out.

In stead of going back to the wharf we ate at a little Italian restaurant the food was good, then we walked over to the Cheese Cake Factory and got a two person cheese cake and brought back to the hotel room. It was a nice evening, the weather was perfect no rain, wind or fog to make our stay unpleasant.

As for our boys they had a good time with their grandparents, C was good for both of them there was no fighting or complaining from either one of them. C was a little disappointed at first but he got over it, both boys do not get to see their grandparents as often as they use to since we moved.

It's not often I and Ch get go out as much as we like to since both of our jobs have taken a financial hit, at least we are both working and making sure all the bills get paid, I'm about a month away from starting my core classes in Business management, I'm a little nervous since I will be starting on a new night and with new students who are obtaining the same degree as myself.

On a side note we had two I.E.P meetings for both boys, C will be starting his schooling down here as soon as we know there is an opening, he will be returning home around June 18Th of this year. He has made incredible progress and improvement in his behaviors and his academic level is coming together. He is showing signs of wanting to come home, which is good.

As for Jr. he is doing well, also making progress in academic skills in reading and math are improving from where he was a year ago, he is having a difficult time with his speech, so we are asking for additional help in that area.

Other wise everyone is doing well, I'm glad to be posting today, because it's raining and cold out side, and my home work is just about done for the weekend.

I have lost some of my private bloggers due to computers crashing, please send me your links through my email at summerrose06@gmail.com, that way I can set up the blogs I keep in touch with.

Every one is doing fine we expect C to be home either in May or June of this year, more on the details as soon as I can between home work and school which by the way two more years to go and debating of going for my masters haven't decided on that yet.

May the Colts win today either and if the saints win so be it.