Numb Part II

After thinking and praying, I have decided to reveal the truth. Mind you any comment that is not welcome will be deleted; I want you all to know placing C was the hardest thing I and Ch has had to do, I knew from the moment we dropped off C last year we were putting C at risk of restrains, at the same time having C at a place that we had both looked into was and will be a safe place for children with behavior problems, what we did not expect was inappropriate touches; Not by staff by other children.


We found out right before Jr's graduation, C's therapist explained to us that a situation had occurred two nights prior to our family therapy, neither one of us knew about this until the morning we had arrived. C use to have a roommate, until this incident had occurred C became panicky when his roommate would be in room as C was; C said his roommate would try to close the closet door on him or try to look at while he was changing. C explained that he was not feeling comfortable having him around, C would go into panic mode in result he would get a level dropped.


As the boys were settling down to bed the other boy made advances on C, which put C into hysteric's the night staff heard the both boys not settling and C was getting more agitated; the more noise C would make the more the staff became concerned. After several minutes the night staff asked to speak with C, when he walked out of his room he had his pj top on and no bottoms the night staff asked C to go back into the room and get his pj bottoms and return to the hall way. C did as he was told, C of course was pretty much in shock at this point he wasn't sure if he was the one that was going to be in trouble for not being in bed, he ended up not sleeping well which resulted him not getting up and leaving for school promptly.

The staff thought it would be a good idea for C to spend the night in the living room, since the incident happened around bed time his response to the staff's desion was "I sleep on the couch at home why do I need to sleep on the couch here?" The saff got a laugh out of a bad situation, C promptly recovered from the incident, we saw him the next morning he seemed fine until bed time arrived then it was hell on wheels. C refused to go to bed, he did not want anything to do with his room here at home, we finally got him to sleep with his radio on.

About two or three weeks later C was switched to another room, the same thing happened this time with clothes on, this time I received the call Ch was at work. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. What the hell we just got done with one incident now a second; I asked his counselor who's fault was it this time! I don't need this I've got health issues that I'm dealing with! She explained to me the staff member that was just hired was sleeping on the couch when the incident took place the staff member was fired.

C was in the process of getting his own room with no one in there with him, she was very upset and so was the manager who sees to all the staff members that care for the children. By the time I arrived to pick up C he was willing to leave, on our way home I explained to C that our power was out for the evening because some one decided to leave his dumper up and hit three power lines including a power pole which almost struck some one's house. Since Ch was called to work I finished up dinner thank goodness for gas stoves they are a blessing!

While I was in the kitchen cooking dinner Ch and C had another talk C thought it was his fault, Ch explained to C it was not his fault he did not do any thing wrong, Ch reassured C that he had plenty of people to talk to if he felt he needed to talk to some one. He felt at ease the rest of the evening. The following week we had our session I asked how the manager was doing she was doing better but still on edge of what has happened. Which is understandable they are there to support the children look after their needs and be able to redirect children when needed.

Knowing how hard C has been working towards coming home for good it still hurt him a lot, we did not tell his grandparents we felt it was best not say anything to them. I did not tell my best friend about the second incident she has enough on her plate at the moment, I didn't tell my family I didn't need my sister's awful input my brother knows about the first incident but not the second. He felt bad about what happened at least he feels what we are dealing with is enough.

It's been several weeks since incidents have happened C is back to his joking and happy self, everyone is watching all the children very closely no one is to sleep while the children are sleeping they are to check on the kids during the night; that way incidents like this do not happen again.

As of right now we're having a tough time getting C to stay in his room all night long, he sneaks out of his room and sleeps on the couch which is fine; At least he is not sleeping in his brothers room nor my room for that matter we had one hell of a time getting C out of our room. At least it's the couch and not any other room for that matter, for us we will get through this, after all it's more or less a phase all kids have them.

I started this post on July 5th I just now finished this post here it is July 19th, but at least I got it written. With everything we have been through I felt I needed to write this out, I have been told writing is therapy; I guess this is my therapy of letting those who know me from the moment I started writing on here up until now. I love my family very much, when tough moments happen I know where I can go and it's here, to scream, yell and let out my pain.

This is mine even when I'm in school and life gets hetic I can still, drop in and say hello any readers I have left. Thank you all for you kind words they do help I will continue to write in between classes. I have another post that I have in mind we are dealing with paycuts just like everyone else, right now I do not have internet service until next week the 28th of this month I will try to post as soon as I can.

Numb

Right now I'm in complete shock, it's going to take a while and I'm not sure if I should post the events leading up to now, I feel that I have been let down pulled in a direction that I would not want to go. C's counselor is handling the situation a lot better than I'm handling my emotions at the moment, in my heart I know this is the place that has shown us how to help C. I must admit I feel as if some one has punched me in the stomach, I wish I could tell you all what has happened but I can not bring myself to do so.

I'm in shock, in pain and needing a wine cooler, I recently found out I have a enlarge liver which the doctor has said it is not liver disease he's been a surgeon for 15 years he has seen this before. I'm grateful to know it's nothing serious, I also have a gal bladder that is acting up again, I've been to the e.r. twice in the past six weeks! My doctor has ordered another test to be done in fact he thinks my gallbladder may not be working at all. I do not need any more heart aches nor did I need the news I got today. I want the next 6 months to be more pleasant than what they have been!

This is all I'm going to post for the time being until I feel that I want to share what this is about I will tell you all if I have the heart to.

By the way

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!!