Saddness And Memories

This month I celebrated my 1 year annivesary at my job, I can't believe it's been a year already we opened up for business on Aug 11, o6. A year later I've seen a lot of changes, and encouragement that comes from being a Massage Therapist, and the heart aches that come with it. Today I received new of a client that worked as a prison guard. She was full of life and blessings, and if you needed to talk she would listen, today I had her co-worker that came in for a massage, she is 28 yrs old has two kids and was a massage therapist. Just out of luck I asked her if she knew a client of mine, she asked the name I told her, she said that she was sorry to inform me that she took her life about a month ago, I was stunned complete shock had raced through my body. I said are you sure? She was my client not long after we opened this place up; She was glad to have me back at work after I came back from medical leave, she missed me very much, and was pleased to know that every thing went well for me. She said that she was busy working o.t. at the local prison. She said that S.Y. was stealing o.t. from the prison she and her long time boyfriend split up about a week before she took her own life. The personel office was looking into why she was steeling o.t. from the prison and take off, while she was still clocked in, she explained to me that her father was still working for another correction facility, while all of this was taken place.

S.Y. was longer allowed to work in the prison area, but was busted down to doing the mail sort, she went on to explain to me that she was facing 5 yrs in the prison if they found her guilty of steeling.

I'm not sure what promt me of asking her how S. J. was doing, I just hadn't seen her in a long time, even though I had S. J's number I wasn't allowed to call her to see if she was okay, I could have taken the time to do it, I could have called her. With work place rules you are not allowed to contact any client outside of the business, because you would be terminated. I just didn't bring myself in calling her.

S. Y was someone with a spunky attituede a hair style that was off the wall, she told me she was blonde but dyed her hair jet black, made me laugh at times when I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. She understood what I was going through with C, and knew that it wasn't easy being a mom to a child with bi-polar, and having him with all the other disabilites that C has. She said hang in there, that everything was going to work out just fine.

It's been six months since I've been back to work, three months since S. Y. has came in for a massage. Today I found out why, she took her own life a co-worker went by her place to see why she hadn't showed up for work, he walked in found her dead on the floor of suicede is what he found her 38 yr old lifeless body a young woman who was following in her dad's footsteps. A woman that wanted nothing more than a weekly massage. A woman who I miss dearly; Even though she weighed more than I did, a little less than my late mom, she knew how to brighten up a room with her wild hair style. She was kind to every one, made you laugh in a moments notice, I was totally taken off guard a few times. S. Y. would say you know if it weren't for your good massages I don't think I could handle my work. I would say if you would take some time off you wouldn't have all these problems. Yea you got a point there but I knew she loved her job, but I don't think she really knew what was best for her.

Her parents came in last week and discontinued her membership, I don't think anyone realized who they were or who their daughter was, I did, and so did my other co-worker that handled her with care while I was out on leave.

This is dedicated to my client, my friend and a loving person who I will miss so much. Thank you for your kindness and love. S. Y. God Bless You!

When the most important things
in our life happen we quite often
do not know, at the moment, what
is going on.
C.S.Lewis

When I saw this yesterday, I didn't realize what I was in for, or how such wise words were being said. Today we got some horrible news C's school is closing it's doors on Aug 24, 07 and will not reopen for the new school year, we are scrabbling to find C placement, the hard part is finding a school or a group home that will cater to his needs. We have made several phone calls that needed to be made, I called my in home helper to let her know what was going on. I called another I.E.P coordinator, just to confirm with her that the news she got today was true. I feel like I'm walking a nightmare or someone Else's dream, all of us are complete utter shock; We barely had an I.E.P meeting and having them aboard was going to be the turning point in C's behaviors, as well as getting him back into a regular functioning classroom. We are all wondering the same thing if they knew about this why didn't they come out and tell us at the meeting, when we had them on speaker phone? Didn't they understand this was one in five chances of getting somewhere with C? We are totally not letting any one off the hook just yet, Ch needs to make a phone call to the Mental Health Department, and let the social worker know what is going on and to be persist an about C being placed where he get the help he needs so he can come home.

We both feel he needs this, his tantrums are not as bad as they were a few months ago, but he still needs to learn how to function in a home that is loving, and caring. He has a hard time with this, there are times he does fine then there are days that he just can't handle the simplest task like cleaning his bedroom, or put away toys. Speaking of toys I worked really hard the weekend that I noticed my eye was acting funny, I cleaned out his bedroom took out all the broken storage containers and a broken toy box out of his room, boxed up all the toys in plastic storage Ben's in the garage. That way he wouldn't be overwhelmed with toys, C is much happier since we took out those items. But there is still no break for me, or Ch we are still not where we want to be, being parents to a high maintenance child on our hands; Is three times more work than a child with less problems, we take the good with the bad and we move on. We have to continuously praise him for the good things C does, to let him know he's doing a great job at whatever it is he has been doing.

As for today Ch, and C had a counselors appointment this morning. I couldn't attend due to me being sick last week and not enough notice, I totally forgot about so please don't hold this against me. While in the appointment C was not willing to be very good, threw some blocks at the social worker along with a crutch. And the reason why he's on crutches a neighborhood kid whose usually really good pushed him off the ladder of our pool, while Ch was watching from the bedroom window. So that's the reason for the crutches. Then he turned onto his dad and started hitting him, I'm not sure what she said to Ch and I haven't been able to talk with Ch because he had to leave early for work because of (his damn drug test again)! I heard this from my second in command I.E.P coordinator.

I told her I've been praying that someone, would see and feel what we go through. Kelly (not her real name) maybe this is what we need to get C out of our house, it's like part of our I.E.P team heard what we are saying, but the new comer wasn't hearing very well. Or she's just not sure what we are saying is true, after today's I'll show you what I do to my mom and dad, type of attitude I'm praying that this will be the door that we need to help us.

I think this sums up most of our two days, of set backs that we have had to face, this week. Tomorrow or Friday we will find out where C will be transported to another school in our area.

Aug 16, 07
As this was started on Monday 13, and today we did find another school that is willing to take C, he will have 5 other 1st graders in his class, we get to check out the school sometime in the next week. The person that called today asked if we wanted her to come out and meet us, to check out the school. We choose to check the school and see what it's going to be like.

In the meantime we are hanging there many prayers have been said between I and K she will be starting her school year next week, so will J. I do feel for K she will not be teaching C this year. I'm praying once we get C where he needs to be, hoping and praying K will be able to take him.

Pink Eye Pink Eye

Please go away I'm missing work, and money to do things with. This is terrable not the best feeling either. I haven't missed a days work since, I got back from having my surgery done back in Jan. It all started last night I was out putting air in the ring of our pool because it has a slow leak, which I still cannot find, I've got most of them patched this one is a hard one to find. So last night before bed I took some hot med which I thought would cure what was ailing me, this morning I had no engery to do a work out or even going for a walk either. So I called my boss at 5:30 this morning, left a message, later she called me back she couldn't believe how bad I sound, sore throat, my eye is burning, just feeling awful. She said rest I'll let them know you will not be in. An hour or so later I called my doc's, which almost didn't happend because the advice nurse thought I didn't need to be seen and just have a phone consulation. I don't think so! I want to see my doctor please! Is it so hard just to come in and make sure it's not strep throat? So I got my appointment, saw a new doctor, because mine is out on leave for the next three weeks GRRR! The one I saw today was fine so it didn't bother me, who I saw as long as he/or she knows what they are doing. Sure enough he gave me a perscription for some onitment, told me to stay home for the next three days. Please tell me your joking right? He said no stay home until you are better or feel up to working. My work calls me I tell my co-worker, my eye is full of puss and it's burning. She said no worries we've been slow for the last three weeks, so why should this week be any different? You know there are times when things like this are ment for a reason, what that reason is I don't know.

So now I'm stuck in bed, with nothing to do. I'm not up for anything my eye is bothering to the point I want to scratch it, which won't help it. I've got a few good books to read which isn't all that bad. I love being busy like to work, I love my hours that I put in each day, and like any job I do have an annoying co-worker who can't stand the poeple that we work with. If you love what you do you should not be so negative about all the time. It doesn't help those who love their job, that makes them feel very insecure. In the mean time I'm going to rest up the best way I can and hopefully J and C will not bring any more kids over to play with; I'm really contagous this morning my eye is worst than it was yesterday.

Speaking of J and C, they are both not sick. C is enjoying his school as long as he goes to bed on time. J will be starting school on the 21st of this month, two weeks left then our house will be very still no one will be saying I'm board, or there is nothing to do. We are looking into getting J involed in 4h this year, I've already talked to his former teacher she said as soon as she gets back from vacation she will let me know when the first 4h meeting will be. He loves animals and this should be something that he may enjoy, a week from home isn't all that bad, okay so the laundry will be needing to be done. I'm willing to get him to do anything that requires him not watching t.v. or, getting himself into trouble with neighborhood kids who don't listen. In the meantime I'm not feeling all that well, and wanting to feel better go back to work so I can make some money.

I'm pretty much board out of my mind, I've never liked staying in bed. And this is one cold that I'll be glad to get rid of. My torso, legs and arms don't bother me it's my throat and and eye that have gotten the best of me. I think it's time to get my immune system back and go for a walk. Hopefully I can bring myself in writing something else.

I Have Nothing To Post

This is one of our family cats, he's pretty much the one that didn't leave the house, he took a liking to C and well he just pretty much became one of the family. His name is Mooch C named him I had nothing to do with it.



This is Sagwa, she was a gift from Ch; And no I didn't name her either, another one that C had named. I couldn't come with anything, they both come in at night stay out most of the day unless it's raining or it's hot outside. Sagwa sleeps with C almost all night until my alarm goes off. She can be a mischevious cat when she wants to be. Yea I know I have nothing at the moment.