The past two weeks have been a blur, Ch along with his family took us to a different restaurant on the Delta the occasion celebrating my 33rd birthday. Yes I did turn 33 not that it was a big deal, we all had a good time. My oldest was a tad bit jealous mom got a bowl of ice cream with a candle, mind you I'm not big on surprises. I knew about the dinner because I would not have minded cooking, for all of us and since Ch has been working nights for the past 1 1/2 years he decided to take me out instead. So the cook got a break, and dinner was served by someone else. Made me feel pretty good. In other events leading up to my birthday, Ch has booked us a room in Reno for next month I will be attending my very first concert! I'm very excited I've never been to a concert and since this is one that I'm sure to enjoy. We're going to see Trac Adkins in concert, I'm very excited and J will be spending the weekend alone with his grandparents.
The final meeting took place on Tuesday the day before my birthday, our trusted advisor was there along with the county, and the program that is involved with C. We got the call late that afternoon letting us know C has been approved for residential care. On Friday I had gotten a call from one of the helpers asking if we had told C about the placement we told them we had not. Ch had already talked them while I was at work, I did not know since my phone is usually off while I'm at work. With the school having an in service day his classmates didn't have a chance to say goodbye, we did not have time to set up a doctors appointment so he could get his vitals read. We had Saturday and Sunday to get every thing cleaned for C, Ch took Monday off since I couldn't get of going to work.
Since it was my birthday weekend my boys wanted to take me out fishing, so we did that instead of attending church. None of my church family members knew what was going to happen, after dropping off the two girls that I baby sit. I stopped over to his former teachers house to let her know what was going to happen on Tuesday morning, and over to my Monday night bible studies teachers house, to let her know what was going on, and why I was not in church. She understood that family outings such as this was more important than attending church, having someone that understands gives me a sense of peace.
On Tuesday morning we drove to Seneca Center, and carpooled down to S.L. to check out the school and the house C will be staying at for the next 90 days is in Castro Valley. We were suppose to check out the school and the house before we left C, since Seneca Center and the school had in services we were not able to check everything out until Tuesday morning. We were impressed on the size of the house they have an actual back yard, six bedroom a nice size kitchen. For two children they have one counselor that is assigned to them. During the transition, C was being taught the rules of the house. Not too much at one time, but at least enough for him to get the concept.
As for us contacting him it will a 30 day grace period they do not want the parents input, unless it is needed. With that in placed I'm pretty much out of the loop of how C is doing at the moment, I can not stress over their rules and regulations that they have in placed. As far as I know from lasts night conversation with Ch, since they did call after I had left for school we are allowed to call after 9:30 p.m. to see how he is doing. Even though I've been pretty good about my peak time calls waiting on the weekends would be better, I do know that we will have to travel back and forth again for counseling. If that does happen I'm will be quitting my job entirely, I can't afford to drive back and forth to work. Since my job did call me last night I doubled, checked this morning there were no appointments for me. Hopefully the job does pick up soon, or many of us will be laid off, if that does happen there will be at least 21 m.t.'s looking for work.
And once more there is quiteness that has settled into the house, I'm praying that whatever happens in the next three months will be very helpful to C. After this program they will let us know what to do next whether it will be a group home or stay with us. After talking with someone yesterday about his behaviors before he went to bed and at school, I wasn't a bit surprised that it did not take C very long to prove what he can do. The counselor did not surprise me one bit on the information she was giving me, I told her that is the way it has been for the past two years any thing he says or does will not shock me. Nor will it put a dapper on my spirit everyone that has worked with C know's what he is capable of doing.
All I ask of my readers is to continue to pray for us, that he will be recieving the help that he needs. C can be hell on wheels and for the first time in months, my living room has not been distroyed.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
They Finally Listened
And we finally won PRAISE THE LORD! Nerves have been shot, I'm going to try to eat some soup.... maybe if it will stay down. The next step is getting release forms from Kiaser, and if we were told this before the meeting we would have been on it.
if you don't know what your doing, pray
to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his
help, and won't be condescended to when you
ask for it. Ask boldly, believing, without a
second thought.
~James 1:5-6 MSG~
if you don't know what your doing, pray
to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his
help, and won't be condescended to when you
ask for it. Ask boldly, believing, without a
second thought.
~James 1:5-6 MSG~
Monday, April 07, 2008
A Living Nightmare
Oh it could have been worse, as of right now it can get only worse we will not know the outcome until tomorrow afternoon's meeting. I'm not sure if I'm ready for this, I know my nerves are on edge; as of this evening J. was on his way home from feeding his goat, when our neighbor stopped him in his tracks and asked us not to talk about C the way we have been doing. What the hell! No one knows of what is going on with C, I do not talk to any one outside my group of friends and I do not talk with any one at the only store in this town! Due to the fact that no one is willing to step up to the plate and ask us what is wrong with our son, J took this very hard. To say the least. He was playing Montgomery Gentry when I pulled into the drive way, he had it playing loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear, what can I say he's got good taste in music. It took him 30 minutes to spill his guts, he told me that she heard that we wanted to get rid of C'; she knows we are trying to get him the help he needs. Now the whole freaken town knows and the last person I wanted to find out about this was my Pastor from the church we attend to. They are the last one's to know, I do not want any meddling from any one; we have kept this to ourselves and only letting those who we trust to know what is going on.
As quick as J told me I was on the phone to my bible study teacher, I'm so glad she answered the phone. I explained to her what was being said behind our backs, she knows the pressure we have been under, knows that I'm attending school, baby sitting along with my regular job which I could not quit too much hard work and tears, along with clients that have the privilege in having a massage from me. Like many other's have said about me you are a strong person, you have the will power of doing all of this don't you think it's a little too much right now? No because I need to make a difference in my families income I can not keep working for pay that does not cover every thing we're making it from pay check to paycheck and with the talk of what is going on I just felt like someone had it hit me with a grenade, the only people that I could narrow it down to would be my former supervisor and her grandson, who attends J's school they are both in the same class, his student aid use to be C's aid when he was attending public school.
I know assuming is wrong, I also know that gossip hurts other's and does nothing good but to harm those who hear it. The last time I saw my former supervisor and her uppity daughter they had a run in with C needless to say I tried to explain to both of them that we are trying everything we can for C, of course the blame again lays as my fault! Can't you control him? Oh I would have loved to show both of them how we control him, by holding him down for 10 minutes to 1 hour. And see what they both have to say about that. As I'm writing this out, I can feel tears of pain and anger slipping down my checks. And praying for angles to protect me and my family from harm.
I do not need the gossip or lies that people like to say about us, and what we are trying to do for our son. He needs help more than what we can give him I'm praying for every one's help that the county will finally come to their senses and realize that this has gone on for too long and it has gone to far with everyone aboard, of course this new program that is working with us seems to think we need more enforcements what we need is for someone to actually listen to our pleas and stop handing us stuff that does not work. We did in fact talk to a layer about J talking to a social worker at school, he said J would be the one pulled from the family not C. Because he is scared of his brother which he did tell the social worker, who in turned called us. Which got us no where close to getting the help we needed for C, that just got people stating facts that we are trying everything we can for C. That was coming from C's counselor from the county, as of today C had an incident at school and one at his program that he is enrolled they are not helpful in what C needs I'm sorry to say that, if they were willing to give us more of a hand in control they should have known not to take his case. We may not have a teacher calling us to come and get our son. We are still no step closer to helping C with his outbursts, his doctor did up one of his meds, I came down hard and told Ch why don't we just give the poor kid caffeine and see what happens, I'm really tired of the meds already.
I may have been blessed with two son's, thankful that only one son is more difficult than the other. As of two hours ago he finally figured that when his chores are done the right way and his goat is taken care of he has more time to play. Geeze and it took him all of the school year to finally figure it all out, a good kid with a heart of gold huumm wonder where it gets it from.
In closing I leave you with this
Joy comes from knowing God loves me
and knows who I am and where I'm going...
that my future is secured as I rest in him.
~james Dobson~
As quick as J told me I was on the phone to my bible study teacher, I'm so glad she answered the phone. I explained to her what was being said behind our backs, she knows the pressure we have been under, knows that I'm attending school, baby sitting along with my regular job which I could not quit too much hard work and tears, along with clients that have the privilege in having a massage from me. Like many other's have said about me you are a strong person, you have the will power of doing all of this don't you think it's a little too much right now? No because I need to make a difference in my families income I can not keep working for pay that does not cover every thing we're making it from pay check to paycheck and with the talk of what is going on I just felt like someone had it hit me with a grenade, the only people that I could narrow it down to would be my former supervisor and her grandson, who attends J's school they are both in the same class, his student aid use to be C's aid when he was attending public school.
I know assuming is wrong, I also know that gossip hurts other's and does nothing good but to harm those who hear it. The last time I saw my former supervisor and her uppity daughter they had a run in with C needless to say I tried to explain to both of them that we are trying everything we can for C, of course the blame again lays as my fault! Can't you control him? Oh I would have loved to show both of them how we control him, by holding him down for 10 minutes to 1 hour. And see what they both have to say about that. As I'm writing this out, I can feel tears of pain and anger slipping down my checks. And praying for angles to protect me and my family from harm.
I do not need the gossip or lies that people like to say about us, and what we are trying to do for our son. He needs help more than what we can give him I'm praying for every one's help that the county will finally come to their senses and realize that this has gone on for too long and it has gone to far with everyone aboard, of course this new program that is working with us seems to think we need more enforcements what we need is for someone to actually listen to our pleas and stop handing us stuff that does not work. We did in fact talk to a layer about J talking to a social worker at school, he said J would be the one pulled from the family not C. Because he is scared of his brother which he did tell the social worker, who in turned called us. Which got us no where close to getting the help we needed for C, that just got people stating facts that we are trying everything we can for C. That was coming from C's counselor from the county, as of today C had an incident at school and one at his program that he is enrolled they are not helpful in what C needs I'm sorry to say that, if they were willing to give us more of a hand in control they should have known not to take his case. We may not have a teacher calling us to come and get our son. We are still no step closer to helping C with his outbursts, his doctor did up one of his meds, I came down hard and told Ch why don't we just give the poor kid caffeine and see what happens, I'm really tired of the meds already.
I may have been blessed with two son's, thankful that only one son is more difficult than the other. As of two hours ago he finally figured that when his chores are done the right way and his goat is taken care of he has more time to play. Geeze and it took him all of the school year to finally figure it all out, a good kid with a heart of gold huumm wonder where it gets it from.
In closing I leave you with this
Joy comes from knowing God loves me
and knows who I am and where I'm going...
that my future is secured as I rest in him.
~james Dobson~
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