Friday, October 27, 2006

Rough Waters

I really shouldn't say rough waters, that's where I feel myself being at. I don't like it not one bit, who says life has to be full of peaches and cream? I did receive a letter from my insurance company, found Mrs. Attitude to be at fault. Thank goodness! I'm not taking any dents or any other scratches that my boys have put on there. I do have a funny picture to post one of these days. When life throws you lemons, you make lemon aid. Now if it where that simple. I did get sent home from work early because we were very, very slow. Didn't need me today. I think it's time to finish up that studying that I've been doing.

The only call that I did receive, was from Hawaii same one that I had applied to back in July of this year. He called me yesterday and asked if I was still interested in part time work? As of right now I'm not sure if I want it. It's another commute, pay more than likely will suck! Not what I need right now. As it is I'm walking on egg shells with my suv, even though I've had the trany and oil looked at. I'm still good for another 20,000 miles. Just got to change the oil a little more often.

As of right now I'm taking everything in stride. I'm tired, stressed and I'm not liking this whole thing very much. At times I wish I didn't take this darn job. But I had no choice it was either this or go back working at another store. I would rather not. I'm tired of being pushed and knocked around, all I wanted was to be able to afford a new auto, which isn't going to happen this year and I'm sure it will be another three years before I get one. As it is the commute, is stressing me out to no end. C was late for catching the bus on Monday in turn made me 7 min late for work. I don't like the way things are turning out.

There is so much I want to say, but the words and phrases, are just not coming out the way I want them to. I feel overwhelmed and wanting to scream yell and let everyone know that I'm feeling very let down. And if I could change careers right now I would do it. As I've stated I'm almost ready to take the test again for the school dis. That way I know I've got a stable job. I'm sure things will get better it takes time. I have made more than one fresh start this year, so far I've taken each step and made it better. I've taken the bad with the good, enjoyed each gift that has been given to me. Whether it was a weekend retreat or The Women's of Faith Conference. Each one has given me a new hope, to not give up to keep moving forward.

I've beaten myself up in this post, and I know life is full of ups and downs. I'm grateful for the things that I do have. I do have lots of love and respect for those in my life. And being it Friday, I sure do hope my weekend and yours will be a time to enjoy family and friends, to make plans and if it's snowing go out and have a snow ball fight with your kids. We're still in the 80's out here and my allergies are still bothering me. Ugh!

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

I Give UP!!!!

I'm in a very pissy mood tonight, and it doesn't help that my pay also sucks! I'm to the point of selling my soul to the devil. Any one interested? I've had my fair share of running head to head with a boss that doesn't care how the hell you get treated, only to please clients give me a break will ya! She could go back wherever the hell she came from, because Cali don't need someone as rotten as her! I'm sorry when it comes to min. Wages such as $6.75 and your not getting paid what your worth you might as well quit while your ahead. And yes I'm still looking for a new job either that, or stick it out until I can afford renting my own space. And that's where I'm running into a brick wall. One I don't have enough money or the clientele to actually start my own business. Two I was hoping to wait a few years, before I went on that path just to make sure I had enough money to start up my own business.

So that's where I'm at, stuck between a wall and a rock. Just great!! And we just got one more expensive bill to pay. Just what I wasn't looking forward to. Oh and another thing I need to get my trany in my suv serviced the transmission fluid is turning a purpleish color any darker and it will need to be done sooner than December. Can it get any worse? I hope the hell not! Because if it does I will be punching something. As far as I'm concerned we either need to find a transfer or I really need to be finding a new profession. Any ideas?

Tuesday 10-17
Here's my pet peeves about working out of town, one traffic two the doctors that CH goes to is on the other side of town. So today being the loving wife that I am, after work I head over to the doc's to pick up his prescription. Mind you I'm not the best in parking side to side with two cars on each side of me, I'm so use to backing up and parking. Today of all days, I had to go it was busy. Of course they are doing construction work and I have to go around to get to the entrance. Pulling into the parking lot was simple finding a place to park wasn't so simple while driving very slowly, and watching other cars make fouls of themselves. I've stopped just to see if this car was either going to turn or go forward, what does she end up doing? Hitting me in left side of my bumper she motions me to follower her so we can exchange insurance, and all that good stuff, she then has the nerve of say well it's your fault! And Oh your husbands name is on this suv!?! Excuse the living hell out of me! I said in a very nice tone of voice yes I drive this. And the insurance is in both of our names. I help pay the fing bills just like every working mother out there. Of course I didn't say all those words. I wasn't upset like she was and I was very calm a little shaken up. All I could think of is Oh My God I've been hit! And she is telling me it's my fault? Sorry lady but your bumper marks and tire marks are on my suv. If it were me, that hit her the damage would have been a lot worse.

Make matters even more worse, CH tells me if it was you that hit her well there goes our insurance, just great something else to add to our finance difficulties, not that there is much of one at the moment then again, I still don't have a retirement. So when I got home, I called my insurance back after they had called the house, and this is before I got home and done loving wife good deed of picking up the med. I call our insurance tell them exactly what happen even went to the extent of taking a pic. Now since I'm pretty new to using a camera phone haven't gotten use to saving pictures on it yet. The picture that I did take, I didn't save it and now it's no where to be found! I told the rep. What had happened told him if I was the one that hit her I would've done more damage than just a baseball size dent in her car. As I looked closer her tire marks are on my suv and so is her bra marks from her car is on my suv. If I had hit her with my suv would not be drivable, I've seen what people have done to their auto's. She was coming from my left side, and I was in front. If she was paying attention to her driving instead of her cigarette and turn signal she would have seen I was sitting there waiting for her to make up her blasted mind!

As of right now I'm not doing all that great, I've got one more thing on my mind that keeps playing like a broken record. Not a good thing right now I threw away half of my dinner away tonight and ended up finally crying over this situation. And her telling me it's my fault! When I've got the proof on my suv that it wasn't. The rep asked me if I needed a rental for the dents in my suv? I politely said no I don't it's had it's fair share of dents and other objects thrown it's way. I don't need any repairs. I'm sure the lady in her car will want hers done. Mine just needs a good washing, :D.

To me it's just a auto, I know it can be replaced. Us humans are not replaceable, it's nothing to get mad about it's fixable. She just didn't catch on that I wasn't up set, pissy or in a stark raving, anger fist fighting b@$%# mood. I was very nice, the whole time. She just didn't seem to freaken care, just goes to show that some people care about their f'ing cars than their freaken life!! give me a break! I've got family that cares about me and friends that depend on me, when things seem so out of touch. I go to the one with an open heart and mind, and even though it's been hard to find time to read his word, I know he's always watching me. And if she thinks that I'm a bad driver or younger than what I look so be it! Her marks are on my truck as proof she did it! And I watch her do it! I forgive her for what her thoughts maybe of me. At least no one got hurt, just a little shaken up from it.

I will leave you all with this thought:
One of the most wonderful things about
knowing God is that there's always so much
more to know, so much more to discover.
Just when we least expect it. He intrudes
into our neat and tidy notions about who
He is and how He works.
Joni Eareckson Tada

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Thank You To All

This is a big thank you, for all the well wishes that have been sent my way. It's been a harsh week, mixed with back problems and C being switched to a different school, that he had attended the last two years. And having one upset teacher over it hasn't been easy to deal with. There has been a few questions, that have come up along the way, neither one have of them have been answered yet. Sorry it's been a little hair pulling over in my corner.

So here's the answer to the 1st question that, I've not been able to answer and hopefully blogger will be an angel while I upload a pic. This is the little bird that gets caught in the line of fire of a hunter, and since I grew up on a farm they are very common in the country, very seldom you will see these little birds in the city. They are very common to this part of the world, and South America.



Now the answer to the 2nd question, it took about a five days for my back to heal. My second trip to the chiropractor office, his secretary put electrons on my back, left them there for 10 minutes, which helped with my second adjustment. As for my work that evening, I took my time in doing my massages, each client was very understanding. By the time I got home from work, I was tired and a little sore. I should've taken my heating pad with me. It could have been a lot worse, ribs are nothing to mess around with. You learn with time, that you can't rush around and worry over every little thing. It takes time for your body to heal, in my case it took me a while. And I had a few extra hands that helped out.

Okay that's enough, of my soap box talk! So what was it that CH was talking about? That's right. I was invited to a Women's of Faith Conference and concert all in one. I had such a good time. It's not often that I've gone to something like this, The gals from my church go once a year. Next year it's going to be in the Bay Area, we're not going the traffic is a lot worse than going to Sac. I wasn't even planning on going, I had totally forgot that this past weekend was the Conference, I was planning on going shopping with my handsome boys. (Remember I've got three):D, So how did I end up with a ticket to such an event? I walked C to his classroom and being it p.j. day I came home picked up his p.j.'s and went back. K had a bit of surprise for me, that I didn't even know about. She asked if I had any plans for this weekend I said not that I know of except for some shopping. I didn't let on that I had that to do. Well now you do, the gal that was suppose to go, her Asthma has been serve and couldn't make it to the Conference. So I ended up going in her place. So I called CH told him that I was invited to this Women's of Faith Conference, and K will be picking me up in the morning. He didn't mind, he was glad that I went and so was I.

After one hell of a week, I guess you can say we both needed a spiritual lift. We've been dealing with a lot. She has been losing sleep over this situation, and even though she knows it's out of her hands, and it's my child that I'm dealing with. She got so use to having him there in her classroom always giving her hugs, smiling with his blue eyes. It's hard to let go of any child, when you've worked so hard in getting him back on track. It only took her nine days, of work but it was worth all the energy that she had to get him to learn. My Saturday was spent laughing, crying and singing and just having a good time. We both realized we needed this badly. There were about 10 of us from our church that went, there were so many other churches there from all over the state. Some came as far as Nevada to be there, it was such a blessing to be invited. I wasn't even going to attend, I didn't even ask to go because I've missed a few bible study classes and the money was due back in July. So I didn't even ask, there has been so much going on. That it just skipped my mind. Each speaker was amazing there are no words to describe the energy that was flowing through the building it was awesome.

One of the highlights of the Conference was Dr. Phil had walked his wife off stage. The crowed just went crazy everyone was cheering, clapping and standing obviations. And by the way he does have a bald spot right on the top of his head. She has a book out I didn't buy it, there will be other chances to buy it, her book I'll pick up at a book store or borrow it from someone that went with us. So it's not something I have to have. I've got enough reading material to last me for quite a while. From my bible study class, to studying for a test that I really need to think about taking again since I didn't pass it the first time around. I don't know which way my path will go. I know I'm not in control of it, I've got to keep moving forward. Look back and say I've done all that I could, and learn from it.

I did let K know that he was doing really well, at the school he attended for the last two years. I know it's not easy for any parent or teacher that loves kids. She felt relieved when I told her that he did really well yesterday, before bible study had started she felt relieved. Even though it's not easy for any of us, right now I'm praying for changes I'm also know it's not easy to change things. This school district can not continue to do what they are doing to students and their parents.

It's funny how life can bring you to different events, that you don't know what to do about. And for me, I'm happy that I got to enjoy a Conference, and my first Concert that I've ever been to. The name of the group that was there, was Avalon. Let me just say they are one awesome Christian group. I couldn't go in the past due to work, school and this year, was just a sweet unknowing blessing. For some reason I needed to be there, and god saw a way of me going. And I'm glad that I went, a day with no kids. There were a few babies, that must have been a few months old. It was a good day.

As many of you know it's also Breast Cancer awareness Month, this means us women get our breast check. I know many of us will say yah I'll do it when I get older. Or I'll do it when I have the time. Or I'll get them check when the kids are at school. Or the big one. I'll do it when I find a change. I'm sorry to say there are a lot of young ladies out there that are coming up with breast cancer, the youngest so far 18 yrs old. I've been through mammograms, needle biopsies, and surgeries. And doesn't change the fact that I still check every month. I've done myself exam for this month. So next month I'll check myself and if I find anything, I'll give a call to my doctors. I still have one more surgery later this year, or the beginning of next and I'll be very happy to have it finally done. I'm praying that I don't have to go through any more needle biopsies, I will continue my breast exams. If you know of someone that is a survivor, let them know that you are thinking of them. And if you are at that age or know someone that should get their breast check, there are programs that will give free breast examinations.

I know this is an overwhelming post, and it's taken me a while. I've been a little on my back again today I'm not sure what is going on. I know that taking time off of work is hard to do. I've received a memo at work stating that we are not allowed to call work just say I'm not coming in today, because I'm not feeling well. So I know I've really got to start back to studying again, so I can get the benefits that I need and take time off of work when the kids have a day off. The only thing I've got to worry about is having a baby sitter at hand just for that reason. Hopefully every one that comes across my place will have a good week. Again thank you for the well wishes and the funny comments, and no it wasn't from lifting any of CH's hunting mags. He's a good sport though.