100 Posts!

Wow now that's what I call, a lot of writing! Actually I could've hit my 100Th during lent, since I needed time to regain control, over my spiritual life. I'm a much happier person. Things at work are going well, I'm no longer wanting to quit, which is a good thing, now if only the receptionist would take a second to see what modalities I'm aloud to do it would make my life so much easier. Life goes on, I can't complain, as long as there is someone who does a better job at Deep Tissue I can, then I won't have any problems.


As for last night, it was a little crazy Ch called me and said J's glasses are in and if I didn't mind if he went and bought a new camera, that's fine we do need a new one the one that we had, it's been through the ringer. It's the one that has seen it's shares of hunting, fishing, family gatherings and birthdays since it was given to us as an early Christmas gift one year from mom and dad in-laws. We've put it to good use. It finally gave out about a week ago or so, didn't want to focus any more, didn't want to take any more pictures and the batteries kept dying in it. Yesterday we needed a camera, the same time J's new glasses were in so Ch called me and asked if it was okay for him to buy a camera with out me. I said sure you know what you are looking for I don't, as long as it's user friendly. Camera's and me don't get a long very well, when you have so many things to do and don't have the Patience to learn then it gets complicated.

Ch brought home the camera realized that it had the wrong battery, and cord he had to make another trip back over the bridge another $4.00 toll, they gave him one that would charge in the truck and would be ready for this evening. While he was dealing with a camera issues, I stayed at home and made dinner which turned out pretty good with a little helping hand from my mom in law. So what was I making that needed a little help with? Homemade Lasagna! We make this once in a while, it's not every often that we get to have this kind of dinner. We were suppose to have both parents over and his grandmother, Dad in law came down with a bad cold so mom in law and grandma, and the four us were the only one's here for dinner.

After dinner came the fun part, opening the presents! That my loving, caring family got me. Two out of five presents I knew about, my mom in law let it slip she got me the necklace and matching earrings for my birthday, she even threw in her Satin Hands set from Mary Kay. That stuff really works! Better than the store bought stuff. As always $20.00 from grandma, I told her that I would buy a smoothie maker, since I love fresh smoothies. A set of lounge pants and lounge tank tops from J and C. A pink Oakland A's jersey, it's so cool! A Keith Urban CD, my last but not least. Oh this one I can take to work when I have nothing to do, a Nintendo DS, in pink! And a game called nintendogs. You get to buy the type of dog you want, buy it's food and water, play with it pick up it's droppings, and the best part about the game it doesn't bother my allergies! I know I'm being such a youngster, since I've got two of them if you can't beat them, might as well join them! They both have Advanced Gameboys. They both wanted me to let them try it, dad told them it was mine and to leave me alone, and let me play with it. Oh and I almost forgot CH came home with 2 dozen orange pink roses. They were so pretty, I think I have a pic. Unless it was one of those sure I'll take the pic when I have time.

Even though we had camera issues it was a good birthday, the best part about the camera is that it's user friendly I took some pictures with it yesterday. One of the cutest pic of my cat in an empty birthday bag. She loves those, I'll have to post it from the family computer. I'll save it for another time.

Edit: This post is 8 days late, we're dealing with a lot of difficulties right now. As always keep us in your thoughts and prayers. Tonight was the first time in over a month that I attended a bible study class and got the new book. I'm looking forward on how this book turns out. The only thing I forgot to ask my bible study teacher was her email addy that way I can keep up with every one else.

Thank you to all of you that have given us well wishes before, and who have stayed with us through thick and thin. May we all continue to strive, in the right direction.

Love
Summer Rose

Happy 32nd Birthday!!

Yes is true I turned 32 today, and it was an okay day. Lots of calls since yesterday, my dad, my brother, today my sister called left me a message which I got after work. It was a long day one mistake was made by one of the receptionist, they weren't watching what they are doing, booked me a massage then forgot to put in that it was a chair massage. It's one thing to book the appointment then another to forget the important information, of what kind of massage the cleint is need of. In this case it was a 30 min chair massage. I've done table massages for this long, but since it wasn't put in the computer right, I was late getting to the client. Of course I gave the client the right amount of time and giving her a little extra few minutes on her back and neck.

You take the good with the bad, and try to make sure mistakes like this doesn't happen again. To me it's just part of the job, making sure the clients needs are taken care of. And if they are a little sad or feeling the need to cry I let them, or just listening to why there is so much stres in one part of the back, it's part of the healing process that each client is going through. Usually it's pain managment that they are coming in for, or just needing a good relaxing massage. Which is fine with me. That way I don't have to worry about the inflamation in my left wrist. It's a little swollen this evening, after J and C goes to bed I'll be putting ice on my wrist for a little while.

My tips run about $10.00 to $30.00 per week, one of my clients brand new. She gave me a check for $50.00 I couldn't believe it! She was so in love with my work, that she's coming back. Along with her husband, each client always ask how long have you been massaging? I tell them 2 yrs. One of my all time favorite questions is how old are you? I'm 32 today. She looks at me and says no way! I don't know why, but I just get a kick out of these questions. Another topper is how long have you been working here? 6 months, wow that's a long time, of course I don't tell them that I've wanted to quit a few times. For some reason I've stuck it out, :) I think it's the change in supervisors, only if they could stop hiring so many darn massage therapist. I think the one's that have been there the longest, should be able to handle the work instead of hiring new ones. We've already told them don't hire any more for the mornings, because I'm not about to lose any more hours of work because someone didn't bother calling me and asking if I wanted more hours of work. Instead they hired three new one's in my absence. To me it's just the way I look at things, through the eyes of those who are in need of healing in any way they can get it.

When I turned my calendar over todays date, I found this quote that has stuck with me since high school. One that has actually brought me full circle on my road of hard knocks.

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Robert Frost

You have made known to me
The path of life.
Psalms 16:11 NIV

There is something that has been bothering me lately. I feel that I need to get it out into the open. Bare with me, as I tell you all that I'm not feeling very sexy at the moment. It seems that I've gained 10 pounds since my last visit to my obgyn, I missed my pap back in November and finally got in there a few weeks ago. As many women know you have to get weighed to my supprise, thinking that I've lost some weight since my last doctors visit which I didn't I've actaully gained 10 freaken pounds! Instead of weighing 170 I'm now weighing in at 181 pounds just great! So guess what, I had to buy a whole new set of clothes to wear this summer. I went from a cute size 12-14 average to a whopping size 16 just great! Which meant everything that I bought last year and the year before had to go into the giveaway bag. I did cry because it hurts badly. And even now I want to shed a few tears, everything that was ever bought for me had to go. There is only two skirts and two shirts that actually fit one of them my mom bought for me before she passed away another set was bought as a gift to wear to my class reunion.

Don't even get me started on some of my sexy outfits, they are gone too. And I'm not replacing them! If I don't have the body for them why waiste good hard earn cash on something that will not look good! Even though I still work out 5 days a week bought two new work outs, different kind of weights. And I'm still weighing in at 181 pounds. My bloodpressure is right were it should be, I didn't even right it down. But it's right were it should be. I'm not eating anything that isn't healthy yet I've gained weight! The only place that I've actually lost weght is in my boobs, I don't feel top heavy but I feel bottom heavy if that even makes sence to any one.

On top of my weight gain I'm also going through pre-menopause too, not a good thing either so now I've got to watch how much milk I drink how much I'm actually eating, and find a way to try soy milk. Any ideas? I'm just running into all kinds of fun, and some how I'm still trying to stay positive without, going into a pity me. I'm really close of taking my belly ring out and not even bothering to put it back in again. That's how much I've gained, it's not that it bothers CH but it bothers me a lot, I'm trying my best not to go out and spend a ton of money on clothes for myself, but to put the money toward buying clothes for J and C.

They need clothes more than I do, then turn around find out that you have gained more than you should have. It's not even funny, and I look at myself in the mirror and wonder how the hell did this happen? Oh that's right I had surgery I'm now going through the change that should happen to older women!! And I'm so close to hitting that 200 pound mark!! My mom died because she didn't take of herself she died because she weighed 290 pounds with high blood pressure! I'm not nor do I want to hit that mark because it scares the living daylights out of me! I've always been thin and now with these changes, I'm litterly toturing myself of staying thin. Not hollywood thin but at least not going out and buy new clothes every freaken year!

And knowing what the bible says, be still for I'm with you. Give me all your troubles. And yet I'm finding myself trapped, between faith and weight that it's not even funny. I'm barly snacking, two days last week I had to skip lunch due to clients needs, I come home and make dinner and it's not even fast food. Everything that I make for dinner is bar-b-qued or on the Forman grill, or the slow cooker. Yet I'm still working out, sometimes thirty mins before I start my bible study, yet I'm still getting up at 5:30 a.m. and doing my workouts. Walking to pick up C from his after school program. The only thing I haven't gotten into yet is running, and as soon as the rest of my swelling goes down, I'm buying myself three sports bras and going try run again. I know this isn't exactly a post that I would normaly would write about, but it's one that I felt the need get it off of my chest and off of my mind. I will leave you with this:

Calm me, O Lord as you stilled
the storm,
Still me, O Lord, keep me from harm.
Let all the tumult within me cease,
Enfold me, Lord, in your peace.
Celtic Traditional

My Slow Return

In my last post which was written, back in Feb. I can't believe I actually stuck it out that long. Wow! it was a well deserve break and one that really needed my attention. And I will reveal why I took such a long break, most of you know that I've always attended church and for those who are new to reading me, just bare with me. And that I also attend a bible study class which I had to give up due to CH's working swing shift. I see them when I go to church, if I'm not up too late the night before. I've missed two Sunday's in a row, I do make it up in the evenings. I have pulled out my bible study lessons and work on them for about an hour. Which has given me so much peace and a positive out look. Of course there are days when I feel as if I'm taking one step forward, and three steps back. I get through those hard times with a shot of positive reading, and a reminder that is sitting on my desk.

As the days went by, I knew I was doing this for a good cause. This is harder than I thought, I will try my best to keep this short as possible. I've been working on a bible study called Surrender. We have been working on this book for about four months we should be finishing it up pretty soon. I'm one chapter behind, and I will finish this book before the next new bible study arrives. Even though I cannot attend it's good to have fresh stuff to read. One of the things that caught my attention in this book was if you could give something up what would it be, and for how long would you be able to do it for? It's part of making your faith stronger, it's been one mind thinking, looking at yourself differently and realizing that all is not lost without Christ. It hit me just at a time that I needed it most, and with Easter just around the corner, I thought I would try this and see if I could actually last until after Easter.

It wasn't easy I almost lost it, I didn't think I could actually stay away from writing anything here. I did keep a journal with one months of writing, there is a few things that I will bring out of there and put here. Just to give you an idea how things have been with me and our two boys. I almost came back to writing last Thursday just before Easter and I was stopped dead, no it's not time you made a promise and I had to keep it. So I deleted my title and my one sentence that I had written, continued my bible studies. I'm doing two at a time, one for Monday nights and a devotion. Which takes about one hour to do when I have a good night with J and C. If they aren't fighting or taking too long in getting chores done, by the time I get one done it's already 11:00 p.m. and I'm ready for bed, to be up at 5:30 in the morning. I don't have that much time in the morning trying to get both boys ready and I have to be at work by 9:00 a.m. even though my days are long, it's good to be able to get some down time in.

And yes this will be a slow return, my posts will continue to be a few weeks apart. I'm going to try to keep up with bible studies, of course my boys and whatever else is thrown my way. Hopefully not too much at one time, this is my first post back so we'll see how this pans out.

A Happy Belated Easter to all of you. And may your week be a good one, and once again it's cold out here!