Can I Scream Now!!

Is screaming allowed in city limits? Or will I have the police knocking on my door for disturbing the peace? I'm not about to find out though, events it seems like a damn good idea at the moment. As CH has explained my hours suck, the pay good and I'm fighting sleep on my way home from work. Can't work days just for the reason C has done it again! Only Ch doesn't know that C tried to bite his helper thats working with him. And thank god for her quick thinking got him into a tight bear hug and held him until K could get over to them. He was really good last week, no problems. Except for yesterday, C had a melt down. No one is sure what caused it. The only guesses I could come up with is, he's not use to having so many kids around him at one time. C was brought straight to the classroom the first three days of school which got him familuar with his surroundings. This week he is to be left and play on the play ground, so today I decided to leave the house a few minutes before the bell rings for school start. So if your wondering, why I'm leaving the house right before school is starting? It's very simple our house is exactly five houses away from the school, so I hear all the yelling, whistle blowing, and bell ringing from our house. It's walking distance from home and I don't have to deal with no parking around the area. I'm not like the rest of the parents who are struggling to find a freakin place to park! I'm not about to fight for a parking spot. And yes I will be walking in the cold. It would be useless to drive, and getting even more of a workout, after I drop and pick up C from school.

While I was sitting in the office this morning, I overheard someone talking about putting full day kinder back to half day. All the fighting I've done so far to get him the help he needs and there are a lot of special need students this year. And now they are talking about maybe switching it back!?! Who the hell do they think they are dealing with here? I will not stand for this school district or any district to promise me one thing and turn around and do what they think is best! If this does happen I can assure you I will find a way of getting C transported out of this school district. And I could care less how much they are losing in money they, should have thought about that before they went all day. I haven't gotten my TB test done just for the fact, I don't know how things are going to go.

As much as I wanted to yell at K for taking him on at their school, they knew about this they knew it could happen. And yet they put him at this school, thinking that he will be older and still putting him and his student helper at risk, both of them could have gotten hurt. She did explain to me that they are going to change his studies while in school, so they can see where his weaknesses are and how to get him back on track again. She explained to me that she will not be getting the training she needs until October, after all we had the I.E.P meeting 4 months ago and they were suppose to have their training done before school started back up again. Is this normal? They had high hopes for C, to me it's just another unsure path.

The 4 weeks of summer school he did well, He had a few grey areas. We got them taken care of he worked well within his abilities. If he had more schooling or someone to teach I and CH how to handle C better when he had his melt downs, I'm sure I wouldn't have huge knots in my shoulders from holding my breath for so long. And I wouldn't have K calling me with a sad report and having to lash out, when I got the news. Yes I'm very much emotionally drained as I'm typing this. As much as I wanted to take a damn nap today. I was waiting for a counselor to call me she will be seeing C starting next Monday I'm meeting with her on Thursday morning. I've had one hell of a day.

Our oldest doesn't have a student aid either, they are still trying to find someone to help him. Just another bump in the road with this school district! Yes I'm already fed up with everyone that works here. It doesn't pay to stay in a small town and what's really sad is all of the money is tied up in Sac. For their needs and we get nothing!! But a sticky mess and not sure which way the tide will either be in my favor or it's going up river.

I know this is not what everyone wanted to read, when you've been handed a lemon the best thing you can do is make lemonade, that is pretty much what I have been doing. Until we get every test done on C. I'll be glad when we finally get answers that we need so we can give him the proper help and schooling that he needs. Right now we're all just trying different sensory actvities to see what works and what doesn't and go from there. And I do understand this is all new to him, give him a chance before we start making more mistakes with him.

As I'm writing this, I'm starting to fall asleep. I have had my nerves tested and tried today. And the best thing for me is sleep. As for my new job, it's good there is still a few kinks that need to be worked out, it does take time to adjust and get comfortable in. It's only the second full week and so far I'm trading hours with someone or I'm working for someone else, because it was too late for them to take the time off of work. So I'm happy to do it, I'm not complaining just means I should be able to accumulate the hours I need for my surgery, sometime this fall. Hopefully they haven't forgotten.

Okay that's about enough, of venting for one night. I'm going to turn in and go to bed I'm tired my eyes are starting to hurt and just want some sleep. Keep us in your thoughts when you have a few moments. And I will be doing the same.

Feel Like Crying

I had a bad night, couldn't get my massages to flow. Too much pressure leaving the house late getting there five min. Before I clocked in, not exactly the way I wanted to start my new job off! It was such a rocky night that I just wanted it to end. I felt like, I was being told how to do one massage because the client was the owner of a dealer ship, and he's had tons of massages. I felt very unenergized the rooms were freaken cold! Which didn't help, either. My whole sequence just didn't flow like it usually does. I'm so not a happy camper today.

Didn't get much sleep either that didn't help. Too many pets being in the bed room F-I-l's dog is staying with us, until they get back from vacation. My cats didn't get much sleep either they pretty much felt like Buddy had invaded their sleep space. Thank goodness CH was awake when I got off of work we talked until I was halfway home. I feel like clients, expect us to be the greatest things in life! Sure I love what I do and I'm not saying I'm bad at what I do, it's going to take sometime getting use to doing more than at my previous job. I'm sure this will pass that I've found what works for me. I was asked if I knew hot stone massage and to say no I don't I feel that my work isn't good enough and it hurts.

As I'm writing this I'm crying I'm hurting. My sprite is slowly breaking, I have so much to do and I just had to vent a little. Sorry such a short post but right now I just had to get it off of my chest, I'm still human and I know that life is full of challenges and I know this is a new job, it will take sometime to adjust and what works and what doesn't.

Thank goodness I have a boss that understands, my weakness, my strength. And is willing to work with me. We did talk this morning she understands that most of us has had a few jobs that hasn't required a two hour massage. I've been told that is too long of a massage and to think of other things to do and when you've got a client that wants deep pressure and I give a firm pressure, she knew that when she hired me. She loves my work and personality, I guess that a plus for me.

I'm going to go now and see if I can't get myself together before this afternoon. Please all I ask of my readers is to send good karma my way. I'm going to need it!

No Shoes No Shirts No Problem

I've been wanting a title like that, for a while now. If it were our 5 yr old writing this he would say: No Shoes, No Shirts, No Underwear No Problem! Mine would be No cell, No t.v., No computer No problem. Can you tell I had such a good time? And one Are we there yet? coming from the back seat behind me! and no, J and C did not sleep on the way there, they stayed awake the entire trip to Tahoe. I couldn't believe it myself, a 4 hour drive with no sleepy kids. A few stops along the way, and a portable t.v. game boys, the only thing they didn't do was sleep!?! It was so nice to get away, the smell of pine trees, and good clean air. And houses that sat near the water. Which was a sign we were nearing our destination, of Rest and Relaxation! And a few glitches along the way....Can't have a vacation without some of those. Plenty of books for me to read, which I forgot to pack some for J and C, to read and to look at. We were in such a hurry to get out of here that I forgot them. By the time I realized it was already too late, by that time CH had remembered his cell phone. HaHaha! yes thats me laughing, I said you don't need it any way. Okay so maybe he did need it only to call his sister to ask her, where's the cheapist gas station? not exactly one around here since most are no longer cheap.

It's an amazing place to stay or to live which ever you perfer. At times I would love to live, work, and play there, then again I wouldn't enjoy the drive in the snow not something I'm ready to venture in doing. It's a place where you have so many things to do. It's one of our favorite spots to take J and C to without leaving them behind, the cabin is set among lots of trees and a few log houses, some stay all year long others rent their places out for those to get away from it all. The drive is so breath taking, one of my favorite houses along the main road has wood carved bears one is hanging on a rafter of the house the other is looking into a bedroom window, makes me laugh every time I see it. I haven't stopped to take pictures of it. Most of the houses and cabins are either sitting near Lake Tahoe, or up above on hills over looking the water.

We arrived saftly to the cabin only to notice, strange markings on the window frames. One of the things that they do have are a lot of bears and deer up in the northern areas. There was plexy glass over the windows on both doors, while Ch and the kids checking the outside I was looking for anything that would detail what had happen from last year. I found it, two notes saying it was "unbearable" so we looked for another note saying that a bear had tried to break into the cabin, eariler in the year. Last year I don't know if ch had posted about joking with the boys about seeing a bear while we where eating breakfast. This year it wasn't a joking matter, there was an actual bear sighting in the neighborhood. We didn't take a hike around the creek, that is not far from the cabin, like we had done last year. We did have a good time. Rafting down the Truckee River, looking at fish that you can feed from a foot bridge, it was a lot fun.

One of the coolest things about Tahoe, is it's not far for my sibiling and dad to come it's a lot closer than coming all the way into Cali so, we invited my family to come for a visit. My brother and family sent their regards and said they felt bad about not being able to make it. My sister E said she couldn't make it because of work her daughter couldn't come because it was her dads weekend to have her. My step mother had to work so she couldn't make the trip. My dad was the only one that could make the 7 hour drive from Ut. I felt bad that none of them could make it, I also know the reasons why my brother and his family couldn't make it. I have a nephew that is recovering from cancer treatments and is doing well. He has his moments but is coming along just fine.

This is my dad's second trip to Cali this time, a short weekend for him. He arrived late on Friday afternoon, I couldn't remember the exact color of the suv he was driving but I knew what both types of license plates they have. It was dark when my sister had showed me his suv, I had called him and he was having his tire fix in Reno and would be leaving shortly. So we waited around for him at a gas station, we got board so took a drive around Donner Lake. There were a few houses for sale over looking the lake each one was different no two were alike. Oh the dreams of owning something like that. Or running my own business out of one. For now I'm fine were I'm at. So we drove farther up on old hwy 40 which by the way the view from a vista point it's an awsome few, you could look down and see Donner Lake and houses. One of many creations that is breath taking. So we got back onto the road head down back the montain. So it's been a little over an hour since I had last called him, so I called him again, we had passed him on a major high way. I explained to him which exits to take and he should have no problems meeting us.

We did meet up finally, I road with him back to the cabin. He couldn't believe how beautiful it was. I told him this was nothing to compare what he we would look at tomarrow. We had a good talk, on the way to the cabin. I'm just like my dad, quiet don't say much. He's always been that way, from what I've heard from my sibilings they said he's been that way since they were born. Unless there was stuff that needed to be said. J got to meet him while we were living in the city and when we moved he hasn't been out since. Always saying he needs to come but doesn't.

So when we made the arrangments for the cabin I had asked if, all or any of them would be able to make the trip out. My dad was the only one that could make it out. Even though it was a short visit it was nice for both boys to get to know their grandfather. My niece would have come with him, if it wasn't her dad's weekend to have her. My brother was a little upset that he couldn't come out with him due to family issues and work, he would like to know when we will be doing this again? I explained to my dad that we do this once a year, we make the request months ahead of time that way we have access to it. I'm sure hoping this could turn into a yearly thing for him. I'll have to wait and see.


One of my disappointing moments on this trip, is eating a big breakfast. And you think by now, I would learn my lesson about skipping meals. I'm the type that can't skip a meal. The out come is a huge headech and in the bath room, praying to the procline god, which lasts for at least a good three hours before I can eat anything again. It was about 7:00p.m. before I returned to normal, I was very upset with myself because I didn't get to one of my favorite spots on Lake Tahoe. Emerald Bay is my all time favorite the water is such a deep greeen I love the color of it. I also want my next auto in this color. I should also mention that this was not my first headech on this holiday it was my 4th. My allergies was acting up while there, I can take two capsules and I'm fine for 5 days oh no! that was not the case this time. Every time that I would wake up in the morning, I had upper sinus pressure it wouldn't have it so bad if my nose would have bled. I may not like the sight of blood, it would have been better than having sinus pressure. If you look closely there is a castle that has been on the Island in the middle of the Lake I love this pic.


We had good enjoyable weather, a sweatshirt in the evening. Played a few games C beat us at playing yahtzee. I might have to look and see if we even have that game around. Wouldn't be a bad game to play as a family, when someone pipes up and says I'm bored!!

Writer's Block

I was asked by CH to write a hot post, like I've done earlier this year. As the days nights went I got caught up in reading, a book that I had bought. Which by the way is a very good one. I've bought myself two new books to read, and a third which has been sitting in the closet for three years. You may have heard of this set The Purpose Driven Life, got the double set as an xmas gift. It's unwrapped unused and collecting dust. I've written the post, my heart wasn't in it, for some reason. I may end up deleting it and start a new when my heart is ready. It took me exactly three days to come up with a hot post, and I'm afraid it will be needing some fine tuning done to it. I started it on paper and not on the computer, I knew that I would end up deleting it over and over. I know it's not good to waist paper either. When you've got writers block what can you do? In the end praying that your loved one that is working nights gets home safely. And that is what I have been doing.

After two weeks of hell, I'm happy to be leaving on vacation on Wednesday morning. We've already started packing on Sunday J and C are excited about going knowing, this will be their only trip away from home before school starts on the 23rd. That will be a busy week for all of us, I will be starting my new job full time, working two mornings three nights per week and every other weekend off. That will be perfect for us to do what we want on the weekends and no more hassles with not knowing if I have to work. It's going to be pretty nice.

And since every one has or hasn't read, I've been approved for the breast reduction, this coming fall and it's going to be done around the holidays. I was kind hoping for after the holidays, I'll take whatever they can give me, no complaints here. Except maybe recovery time, and the scares which by now I don't care, I've got enough to last me a life time. So what's a few more? For me it will be better and hopefully the lumps will stop coming back year after year. I will continue all breast exams and if anything comes up I will see my doctor. It will mean no more bra straps digging into my shoulders, and around my breast area. As the time comes nearer I will inform my new employer on what is going on right now I'm enjoying, being a sister, mom, wife, friend and massage therapist. What can I say, I'm all those combined into one happy, healthy and spiritual, loving person. I wouldn't change what I've done and accomplished. For this is who I am.

So what will I be doing on vacation? A little bit of fishing. CH bought me a new fishing pole while out shopping, kind bit into him until he said it was mine. Exact words "don't you have enough of those hanging in the garage"? He looked at me well if you really don't want it that's fine save me some money. On second thought I'll take it! Either way I'll take a pic of my new fishing pole, hell I might just tease my brother with my new set up. . Yes I know I'm rotten, it's not often that a gal gets her own new fishing pole and thanks to F-I-L for putting new fishing line on it. I can't wait to try it out.

I'll be doing some reading and lots of it, we're taking a few movies for the kids to watch along with books and game boys. C was wanting to leave today sorry child I don't think so! Moms got to work so does dad, we still need to pack. C kinda looked at me and said well since daddy is working can't we go by ourselves? We have the key! Me thinks C is ready to leave. Sorry child it's not going to happen. Tomorrow will be a busy one, soo many places to stop and shop. By the time we are done I'm going to be toast. Let you on a little secret I hate shopping!

And yes we will be taking the lap top with us only to down load pics from camera to photo album and ready to be blogged when we get back. And if I'm lucky I'll be the first to catch a fish. Unless J and C beat me to it, We'll just have to wait and see. I'm hoping to bring home some fish to eat. Yumm! And if any one knows some good recipes for trout send them my way. I've got one in the freezer my F-I-L brought home from his latest fishing trip.

It's late and I need some sleep. I've been up since 6:00 a.m., and I've got to do it all over again tomorrow. I'll be taking a six day break from blogging. It will be nice to be away from computers and phones for six days only to turn it on for service in some areas other wise mine will be off I doubt CH will be turning his off. Anyways I'm off to bed.

I'm Still Around

Yes I'm still here, things have bit crazy since, CH has been working nights. And it's been hell on wheels with C, who doesn't like his daddy being gone at night. If any one can relate to having a child, that doesn't like a change in routines please, feel free to give me any little advice that is positive. We still eat as a family, give C, baths I still read to both boys. The problems that I'm running into is activities for him to do. School is in 13 days, and counting. Our family vacation is in one week from this coming Tuesday. And I've had a house full of neighbor's kids, there's only two out of the bunch, that I will have over anytime. I know their mom since I worked at the store, and had a few problems with her son. Which have now been resolved he knows the rules, and is pretty good most of the time. His sister is very nice, makes sure her brother sticks to the rules. I know that summer can take a toll on kids. I'm just not sure what to do with both of them, for the 13 days left of summer. In the meantime, I'm keeping watch over our two boys, and finding sometime to read while they are in bed sleeping.

I'm also working on another sexy post, not exactly like the one that I wrote back in earlier this year. But has some what a sexy plot. That is all for now. Good Night.