When things get tough...the tough gets going.

Life is like a box of chocolates,
you never know what your going to
get -Forrest Gump

That's exactly what I'm feeling, and at times..In the past few days I've felt overwhelmed. Mainly it's my work it's the other job that I've taken on, which by the way wasn't really in my plan of working at another food place. Even though I get the chance to meet some of the residents, it's not exactly what I really wanted to do in my free time. By the looks of my last paycheck I have no other choice, except take what I can settle for. Unless you have a spirit like mine that can't be broken, only to made stronger, that is what I have done this week. I really didn't want everyone to know that things on the financial front has somewhat taken a slight nose dive. I have watched how much we spend, watching the weather reports to make sure I don't over use the power. I love my family very much, working so close to home has it's up sides and it's down sides. The up side I don't have far to travel I'm close to home when things go haywire I'm here to fix it. The down side is I'm not getting the work that I need to get ahead, instead I have fallen way below where I was a year ago, not a good thing. So how in the hell am I going to get out of this mess? Very easy Ch asked if I could refill his allergy meds I said sure not a problem called work nothing. You mean to tell me I have nothing! No clients another week of no freaken work! Of cores I didn't say that to the receptionist that was working the front desk. I'll call you if we need you. This is getting pretty old. By now I would have thought okay they know we are here when they need us, but damn it I've got a family and bills to think about. I have no time to sit here week after week waiting for them to book me clients. After a little chit chat I said good bye, told the receptionist they could reach me by my cell phone if they need me.

After filling the prescription I went over to my school where I graduated from asked to speak with the guidance counselor or whoever was in charged of placing us C.M.T's for work. I talked to her for few mins. She asked if I had a resume I said you gals should have that on file we're sorry but we seemed to have a new system and we no longer keep it. Mind you I'm pretty much in a spot were I can say damn if I do and damn if I don't! After a half tank of gas and one revised resume later I'm pretty much looking for another damn job. A decent paying one so I can dig us out of a hole that's barely starting. And to be honest I don't have much time left to do so. After talking with another lady that handles all the new comers she pulled up a place that I've read about, gave me the list I called them yesterday, and an interview in the works with that place. (always trust your gut feelings), Why? It just so happened I went to my first interview at a chiropractor office 45 minutes away from home not bad. The pay isn't bad either $20.00 an hour on call and if you don't have anything you still get paid I was floored. Not only do they get a nice check, the C.M.T.'s that I met this evening were taking home bottled wine from the clients! Now that's something you don't see every day. They are to call me back, set up a time so I can go back and do a practice massage, just to see how she likes me. It's a start in the right direction. I had another lead it's on the military base not far from here I'm not sure if I even want to attempt doing that one. Another on call, I'm already doing that and I haven't gotten only a few. So in the meantime I'm doing a lot of praying. For the right job to come along.

As for the second phone call that I made this week. They are due to open around the 1st of August, I'm sure I can handle that. The receptionist of that place will be calling me around July 10th to set up an interview. So which job am I going to take? I really don't know I like working with no shoes on only socks we'll see how all this will work out of cores I've got more hours than a few of his massage therapist he's got there. I told him that's what my school had required that you have, I didn't tell him it's in case a student would like to move we have more than what that most states require. I'm so not good at interviews, I either get nervous or I'm falling over my words, and no money to go back to school on. Which sucks!

I'm surprised I haven't sat down and cried my eyes out over this whole situation. I've done the first few steps:

1). Realizing that I'm not going to get ahead if I stay here, and taking a lesser paying job than I'm worth.

2). Taking a risk of finding another job, and putting the trust back into the school which is going down hill. Even though they have made a few changes.

3). Having them revise my resume, they did a pretty good job on it. And having them do all the work and I call them or check my email to see if there is any leads.

4). Last but not least, not turning down an interview even though I'm a little rusty. The place that I did interview said they are looking for someone who is pleasant and people friendly. Hum sounds like yours truly, now if they will just call back and set the rest of the interview up I'm good to go.

As you can see it's not easy, I really had no idea that I've carried this around for a while. It's a wonder I haven't lost my will of praying for something good to happen. I really had thought I had found the right place, the right type of work. At least this job gave me the opportunity to see if I like being on call, which by the way I don't so I know that will not work for me. It would have worked if they had kept me busy enough to stay, I'm sure there will be more doors to open, more opportunities out there I've just got to find them. We had meeting last night and it seems to me that the front desk isn't doing their job in making sure the clients are paying for their massages. Not something I really wanted to hear, so now I've got to make sure they have paid for their massage before I accept them. The other parts of the meeting, if I'm lucky they will actually tell me what is bothering them. That way I know which areas to work on. It works both ways in this type of work, I cannot guarantee if they will remember the next time around.

So in the meantime I'm keeping, high spirits by spending my free time reading books and knowing that I've got someone watching over me, at every hour of every day. I'm also playing the role of being a stay at home mom. Hopefully this role will not last long. Because yesterday CH came home and jokingly said {well it must be nice working in a air conditioned building} knowing all too well that I haven't been working much. I was hurt and felt a stab of wanting to lash out at him. I kept the bad words at bay. Don't ask me how? I didn't just let him have it, I think it was partly it's been hot here and I really was in no mood to be joked with. And since with very little work I've been keeping the fans going 24/7 so I don't raise our power bill up any more than it has been. And for the comment he did make he did say he was sorry, and hugged me. I still wanted to say something mean, but decided against it. I've really earned my patience back and IT'S ABOUT TIME I GET THAT PART OF ME BACK!

There you have it a post I really didn't want no one to know is finally up and running and it's taken me five tries to get it right. That's why there is no title couldn't come up with one.